Page 19 of Blue Gold

“I’m not so sure—” Loud noises cut into his words.

“What’s that sound?” I frowned.

“My neighbors. They’re always either fighting or partying.” He went quiet for a second. “Sounds like it’s a big fight tonight.”

The thought of him living next to such people scared me.

“That’s alarming.”

“Not really… Besides, the building is nice, and the rent is cheap. So I can’t complain.”

While his attempt to make light of it was charming, it was unnerving.

“If you want to live someplace else—” I paused before I could finish my sentence because what was I about to offer? To rent him an apartment in Manhattan and treat him as if he were one of my father’s mistresses?

“Monsieur… You are worry too much.”

His sudden switch to English took me by surprise, and I smiled.

“I see someone has practiced his English. Have you been listening to the CDs?”

He hummed a low yes.

“Want to hear something new that I learned?” he asked in French.

“Of course.”

He pretended to clear his throat, and I could almost imagine the playful expression he’d have on.

“I miss you.”

Each syllable was delivered awkwardly, yet it did nothing to reduce how my body reacted to hearing him say those words. My heart skipped a beat as warmth spread through me like lightning. And I felt so unbelievably happy until it all turned into guilt. I knew better than to rejoice over him missing me. In fact, it was entirely inappropriate of him even to suggest such a thing.

But so was speaking to him this late at night.

I was a husband to a wife who loved me, a father to a daughter who deserved my full attention, but also a man who got excited at the sound of those three little words coming from him.

This invariant contrast between right and wrong was tearing me apart, and there was nothing I could do about it. Not true. There were many things I could’ve done, like hang up the phone or to stop meeting with him. But I did neither of those things. Instead, I did the opposite and only sought him out more. And if I thought two weeks away from Elliot would be simple, I learned how wrong I was. Not even two days into this business trip, and I was already missing him, too.

“So, did I say it correctly?” he asked in French, interrupting the silence that had broken between us.

“Yes. You said it perfectly.” My voice came out rough and weak, like a whisper carried in the dark.

“No… I don’t think that I did,” he said in a low tone, his words challenging me. “Maybe you should say it, too, so I’ll know how it’s supposed to sound?”

Elliot’s demand was bold and reckless, almost like he wanted to play with fire and get burned. It wasn’t a shock, given his age. After all, challenging life was a part of youth, wasn’t it? But I wasn’t in the same place as him. At thirty-three years old, I should have been the one with the moral clarity to know better. And typically, I would. Only not right now. Not when it came to him.

“I miss you, too, Elliot.”

6

DANIEL

I arrived back in NYC early Saturday morning, two days earlier than originally planned. John picked me up from JFK, and on the drive back home, I noticed the sky.

It was a beautiful blue, just like his eyes.

Thinking about Elliot, he’d be happy to hear I was home earlier than expected. Although I’d first have to see Claudia and Maya. After all, my suitcase was packed with gifts for them. I might have also had one more gift for Elliot, but it truly was nothing big. On one of our phone calls, he mentioned how he was late everywhere because he never noticed the time. It so happened that the following day, I saw a beautiful watch in the showcase of a jewelry store near my hotel. Since there was nothing more elegant on a man than a fine watch on his wrist, I couldn’t help but buy one for Elliot.