Page 154 of Blue Gold

My hopes were shattered as my heart filled with disappointment.

“Jacques?”

“It’s been a while since we last came here, hasn’t it?” Jacques said, leaning back on his arms. “More than three years. Can you believe it?”

Not answering his question, I pulled my baseball cap lower on my head and continued to stare at the water. With the afternoon sun, it was almost painted orange, making the damselflies flying above look like they were dancing on fire. It was beautiful, and I was sure Daniel would have thought the same.

“I didn’t even know you came back until my brother said he heard Madame Dubois speaking with your maman at the store. Honestly, I wanted to see you right away, but, well, I got nervous.” He let out a short chuckle.

It was weird how in the past, one octave of his voice was enough to give me butterflies, but now? Nothing. I also didn’t care for the memories he kept bringing up from the past, about how we used to bathe naked in this water and lie carefree on the grass to watch the stars.

“Anyway, enough about me. How’ve you been?” he asked after placing his hand on my shoulder.

Snapping out of my daydream, I turned to face him. He looked just as I remembered, probably better, with his sun-kissed skin, green eyes, and thick brows to frame them. But it changed nothing. When he’d appeared at my doorstep an hour ago and asked if we could go for a ride, I wasn’t sad or angry. I couldn’t even say I felt surprised. Maybe my brain was too tired to think it through, or maybe it was just curiosity, but I agreed to come with him. Yet sitting here next to him, in a place we used to spend summers together, my heart didn’t waver. Not even a single beat. Jacques Bouvier used to mean the world to me, and now he was just a person I used to know.

What if that was what I’d become to Daniel? A sharp pain pierced my chest, filling me with dread. Scared, I hugged my knees close to my body and stared ahead. “How am I doing? I don’t know, normal, I guess.”

He laughed. “What on earth are you talking about, Elliot? You’re a supermodel.” His hand landed on my back, and he kept it there.

Too tired to ask him to remove it, I stayed quiet while he went on to talk about how he saw me on TV and in magazines.

Good for him, I guess.

“Seriously, the first time I saw you on a cover… It shocked me, you know?” Slipping his hand a bit lower, he also got closer. “But mostly… it made me realize how much I missed you.”

I then remembered that one time when Daniel missed me, so he flew all the way to Italy to see me.

“Elliot?”

“What?” I asked, not bothering to look away from the water.

Jacques reached his other hand forward, nudging my cap up.

“I just said I missed you.”

I fixed my cap to sit properly on my head. “And?”

“And?” He huffed, shifting closer again. “Aren’t you supposed to say something else?”

My eyebrows drew together. “Why? I didn’t miss you at all. Do you want me to lie?”

He let out an awkward laugh. “O-of course not.”

“So the truth is that it has been months, if not years, since I last thought of you.”

He grunted, finally moving away and giving me space.

“You always had an attitude. But I get it, you’re mad. I know we ended it badly back then.”

We? Wasn’t it just him? But, well, he was always a narcissist.

“But you’re here now, and that’s what I care about.” Again, he reached out his hand to touch my back, slowly getting closer.

“Mon chaton,” he whispered my old nickname in a low voice, but I rejected it by turning my head. He didn’t care and leaned in until his breath fanned my skin. “You’re so beautiful, mon chaton. You always were.”

“No.” I stopped him before he could kiss me.

“No?”