Page 141 of Blue Gold

I have a problem.

A big one.

A problem I’d denied for so long, but now, I couldn’t. Not anymore. Not after I realized I had zero control over this monster. But there was no monster, just me, and glancing back at the mess I left scared me.

I was scared of myself and of what I’d do next.

I realized that the love of my life was vanishing before my own eyes.

Vito’s words came back to haunt me, making my blood run cold. What if I were the same? A sob escaped me, and I quickly covered my lips, trying to conceal my voice as I continued to cry, almost like it would change something. But nothing would. Because in the end, once again, I ruined my own life, but not just mine.

Daniel’s, too.

44

DANIEL

“Thank you for speaking with him,” I told Vito over the phone.

“Oh, please, I’ll do anything to help Elliot,” he said back, the sounds of traffic escorting his voice.

Holding the phone tightly, I turned my chair so that I faced the office window. Now, with the sun all set, the city’s landscape looked like a carpet woven with lights. Earlier today, after much deliberation, I called Vito and asked for his help. The past week hadn’t been easy on me, and while I wished to respect Elliot’s privacy, I couldn’t stomach the thought he’d keep on hurting himself. The fact that it had taken me so long to realize the situation he was in devastated me, and guilt gnawed at my stomach at the thought that only a number on a scale made me see it.

“Still, I truly appreciate it.” I massaged the bridge of my nose. “I can’t believe it took me so long to realize something was off.” My throat tightened with the tears that had been threatening to break free ever since that morning. “I mean, the signs were all there, and yet I missed them⁠—”

“It’s not your fault, darling,” Vito said in a firm voice. “That disease… She’s a tricky one.”

Anorexia.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that this obscene word would be associated with my life, but here we were. Elliot might not have been diagnosed yet, but there was no question about it, and the faster we called the child by its name, the better.

“Guilt never did any good to anyone, darling, remember that,” Vito scoffed. “What’s important is focusing on what we do from now on, and that’s helping him heal.”

Fear gripped my throat, and I stayed silent for a minute.

“Do you think he will?”

Vito sighed. “Bello, you know I can’t answer that question.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I rubbed the bridge of my nose while nodding. “Yes, yes of course. I know.” I coughed to clear my throat before opening my eyes to check my watch. “Well, I’ve kept you hanging long enough. Thank you again, so much.”

“Please, it’s nothing, and remember I’m here for anything you need.”

“I know,” I said, grateful.

“Oh, before I go, write down my friend’s number. I have already informed her of all the details.”

Quickly turning to face the table, I grabbed a pen and a piece of paper.

“Are you writing?”

“Yes,” I said and began writing down the number of Vito’s friend, who was a therapist with great experience in eating disorders. Once done, we said goodbye and ended the call. And while this was only the first step, taking it already made me feel better. The sooner we got Elliot the help that he needed, the better.

Placing down the pen, I brushed a hand over my face, then reread the phone number before dialing it.

Louise, the therapist, was indeed as nice and professional as Vito said she’d be, and after a quick conversation, we scheduled a meeting for tomorrow. Like I said, it would be better not to waste time. Now, ready to go home, I only had one thing left to do.

“Sherry, I need you to cancel some of my afternoon appointments tomorrow,” I said, holding the intercom button while going over my schedule.