Page 12 of Blue Gold

“By the way, the jewelers sent back your wedding ring. I left it in our bathroom.”

I completely forgot that I’d sent it for polishing.

“Thank you,” I said, then went upstairs to kiss my daughter good night and head to the shower. But the whole time, my mind was someplace else, busy thinking about Elliot. Even when Claudia joined me in bed, dressed in a little nightgown that showed her slim figure and beautiful breasts, all my thoughts were of him. And when she climbed on top of me, like a wife would do to her husband, and pulled down my pants, it was him I imagined touching me. And when I made love to her that night and her moans filled the room, it was his voice I heard and his body I dreamed of being beneath me.

And after I climaxed, with his face on my mind, I realized something.

I could never see him again.

4

DANIEL

“I’ve already told you that I’ll be back home late today, Claudia,” I sighed into the phone, rubbing the bridge of my nose.

“You’re not the only one with a career, Daniel. And you promised to come early today to be with Maya while I catch up with my work.”

Claudia was a fashion show producer, quite famous around the city, and rightfully so. She’d started as an assistant but slowly climbed up the ladder and was now in charge of some of the biggest shows in the fashion scene. She was also a good partner, one who hardly ever complained and always treated me with respect. Therefore, when she finally did ask for something, I knew it was justified.

Checking the time on my Rolex, I poked the inside of my cheek. “Fine. I’ll see what I can do.” It was only fair to make an effort, considering the number of sacrifices she had made since Maya was born.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

I nodded despite her not being there. “Yes. Besides, I would love to spend an evening at home with my little girl for a change.”

It was half true because while I did want to see my daughter, I also sought to bury myself in work—as I’d been doing for the past three weeks in a desperate attempt to keep my mind off… distractions.

“Thank you, honey. I really appreciate it,” she said, her voice turning softer.

I shook my head while tapping the desk. “You don’t need to thank me, Claudia. I’m her dad, too.”

“I know, I know… I just don’t like to complain. I know how much your work means to you.”

“Not more than yours means to you.”

“Speaking of work, remember to take a break at the end of June?”

“Dear Lord, Claudia, it’s not even March yet⁠—”

“You know how much we love spending the summer in the Hamptons. God forbid you’ll bring your work there again,” she scolded me, and I chuckled.

She often made me seem like a little child.

“Fine. I will make sure to take a break. Happy?”

“Very much.” She giggled. “Anyway, I’ll leave you be. I love you, honey. See you tonight.”

“I love you, too,” I said right before she hung up.

I did love her, just not in the way she deserved. Phone calls like the one we’d just had served as reminders of the fraud she was unknowingly part of. We’d been together for ten years, eight of which we’d spent married. And while our marriage was pleasant, it wasn’t real, at least not from my perspective. She, of course, had no idea, as I worked incredibly hard to ensure she wouldn’t find out about my sexuality. Every part of me knew it was unfair, and yet, choosing to be a coward day after day, I continued lying, aware of the great injustice I caused her.

I was always a faithful partner, and I intended to remain so. Claudia truly was a good person, one of the kindest women I knew, and she didn’t deserve to have her heart broken. My loyalty stemmed from our friendship and the partnership she believed we had. Which we did, in a way. At the end of the day, she and I shared a life together. It might not have been the life I wanted, but it was a good life—perhaps as good as it could ever get.

I’d long given up on the dream of being myself, and denying my desires was a skill I’d gotten used to. That was why I’d been burying myself in work, to make my latest desire turn into a fogged memory. Only, it wasn’t that easy.

Turning around, I glanced at my office window. It hadn’t rained for over a week, and the sky was bright blue—the same as his eyes. My heart clenched with the thought, and I quickly turned to my desk and picked up a bunch of contracts I had to go over. At this point, I wasn’t even sure why Elliot hadn’t left my mind, considering all that we shared was a dinner and a ride to Brooklyn. Forcing the thoughts out of my mind, I focused back on the files and continued to read them until someone knocked on my door.

“Come in,” I called before Sherry stepped inside.