Page 179 of Forgotten Prejudice

“Will you keep your voice down? It’s early, and the boys are probably still asleep,” I snapped, turning to look at him.

Kai’s jaw clenched as he swallowed hard. He came out of it quickly enough as he grabbed my arm to pull me back. “I didn’t poison him,” he repeated himself, only quieter this time.

“But you were irresponsible, and that’s just as bad.”

On my drive back home, I’d promised myself not to get angry with Kai, but it was hard because the moment I saw his face, the anger I felt last night returned to me, and I wanted him out of my sight.

“Come on, Ashy,” he tsked. “It was a fucking mistake.”

“One that could have cost him his life, Kai. Do you even realize what could have happened?” Stepping into the house, I tossed my car keys into the small bowl near the door and then walked to the kitchen.

I need coffee.

“If you think about it, it was really his fault. He should have mentioned his allergies before he started stuffing his mouth like a pig.”

My temples throbbed with anger, and I slowly turned to face him. “Seriously?”

Standing behind me with a straight face, he seemed oblivious to the situation. Instead of feeling some sort of remorse or, at the very least, empathy for what happened to Soren, Kai’s sole focus was on saving his own fucking ass. He didn’t stay up all night because he was worried for Soren but for himself. It wasn’t guilt eating his insides but jealousy. Ugly jealousy he’d held on to ever since he first saw Soren kissing me at Rob’s restaurant years ago.

“I told you about his allergies more than enough times during the last week,” I said, focusing back on the point. “And if not for you talking nonsense about us having a kid, maybe Soren wouldn’t have been too distracted not to notice what he was eating.”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, please, the man is kissing forty, and you treat him like some fucking baby.”

I took a step toward him until I was in his face, my finger pressed against his chest. “Among the three of us, you’re the only one acting like a petty child,” I hissed, unable to hold back my anger.

Kai’s brows narrowed, and he seemed hurt, not that I was surprised. When it came to his own ego, he sure as fuck knew how to show empathy.

“Hey, where are you going?” he asked, voice high with nerves, as I let him go and walked away.

“To make myself a cup of coffee.”

He followed me into the kitchen. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for fucking up lately.”

“You know, at some point, after tossing it around so easily, the word ‘sorry’ loses its meaning.”

I pulled out my favorite mug from the cabinet and began making my drink. Putting my attention on the coffee helped me to calm down. Fighting wouldn’t get us anywhere, and at the end of the day, Kai was acting out because I’d hurt him. Yes, he was selfish and careless as always, but it didn’t take away from the things I’d done.

The coffee machine let out a noise as it began filling my mug with the warm brew, the aroma spreading around us, adding more to the already thick air.

“I don’t want to fight,” I said, my hands on the counter. “So I’ll just say it—”

“Wait.” Kai hugged me from the back and rested his forehead on my shoulder. “Just wait with what you were about to say.”

“Kai—”

“I love you, Ashy. I love you so fucking much.”

My heart sank, and my throat dried with the words I held in.

“This is over” was what I needed to say but couldn’t, so instead, I swallowed back my words. Kai only held me tighter, his body wrapping around me like a blanket. Only it didn’t make me feel warm and loved but cold and desperate. But it wasn’t always like this. In the past, Kai was as warm as the sun, and knowing that I was the one who turned his touch into ice broke me. Before everything began, he was summer. My summer. But somehow, we’d managed to fuck it up. Did we ever stand a chance? I had no idea. What I did know was that we couldn’t keep going the way we were, tiptoeing around each other, acting like everything was okay while it wasn’t. Kai was never the kind of person to be in a relationship, and even if he was, I never gave him a chance. Not a real one, anyway. And despite knowing all that, breaking this hug was nearly impossible because imagining my life without him was unthinkable.

With my coffee all but forgotten, I took a deep breath and turned to face him, ready to at least try and tell him a fraction of what I was feeling, when I noticed the blood on his face.

“Jeez, you have a nosebleed,” I said, already reaching to grab a paper towel to clean him up.

Taking it from my hands, Kai held it to his nose, trying to stop the bleeding. “Shit,” he hissed, the blood dripping down to his shirt. “It’s probably ’cause I didn’t drink enough water.”

“Doesn’t matter. Just go wash it up,” I ordered him, thankful for this little extra time I’d just received. Maybe this was God telling me not to make rash decisions. Who knew? I wasn’t much of a believer, but looking for a divine sign was easier than making my own choices.