Page 136 of Forgotten Prejudice

Yet, before I could dive deeper into the storm of emotions swirling inside me, Ashton dropped his body on me, his breaths shallow. He was exhausted in more ways than one, and I could understand why. I bet it had taken a lot out of him to come here tonight, to open a grave and pull out the skeletons he hoped never to see again.

His body turned limp in my arms, but I didn’t bother to move him. Instead, I hugged him closer, my fingers pushing his hair away from his precious face.

“Please come back to me, little Sparrow,” I whispered in his ear, doubting he was still awake to hear me. “I miss you so much.”

Ash

I opened my eyes to a dark room, confused about where I was, until I noticed the arm tossed over my waist. Turning my head, I saw Soren was right beside me, eyes closed, lips slightly parted. His sleeping face made him look much younger—no creases or frowns, just calmness. He only ever looked this peaceful when he slept or when we were far away on the other side of the world, just the two of us.

Warmth filled my chest, bringing an easy smile to my lips just from remembering those trips we took together. How young and carefree I was, not a single worry on my mind. If only it were still the same and my problems could be cured with a trip to Italy.

Knowing better than to fall down that rabbit hole, I forced myself to remember why I was in Soren’s bed to begin with. It wasn’t to reunite with him. No. I was still mad at how he’d left me alone and broken years ago, and a one-night stand, as amazing as it was, wouldn’t suddenly change that. I was here because of Kai, because of our fight yesterday, and because of how angry I was left by his betrayal. And yet, until right that second, Kai’s name hadn’t crossed my mind even once. The moment my lips touched Soren’s, it felt like everything around me ceased to exist and that he was the sole thing in the world that made my heart go on. The passion of his kiss, the touch of his hands, and the weight of his body on top of mine—all brought me back to the past. To what we used to be. To what I used to be with him.

But what scared me the most was that having sex with Soren didn’t only remind me of the past. It forced me to acknowledge the changes in him I’d already seen and chose to ignore. Like when he dropped to his knees and buried his face in my pubes or when he constantly brushed his fingers over my chest hair. Those were small things for most people, but not to him. Everything mattered to Soren, from the color of my shirt to the aftershave brand I used. Yet, last night, he put it all aside. But why? What happened in the years we were apart?

I cut that line of dangerous thinking right away. This was just sex, and even though it was fantastic, it changed nothing. I still had no interest in knowing what had made him leave.

Keep lying to yourself, Ash.

And while my logic made perfect sense, when it was time to sneak out of his warm bed, every bit of my body urged me not to do so. I still did it, and naked, I walked back to the bathroom, where I found my clothes tossed on the floor—another change because in the past, he’d fold them immediately—and quickly picked them up. While getting dressed, I noticed he’d cleaned my body. He was always so attentive, and I almost forgot how nice it was to be taken care of.

My phone was in my sweats pocket, so I pulled it out and checked the time. It was almost 4:00 a.m., and because sleeping would probably not happen tonight, I decided to go surfing. It would clear my head and, hopefully, help me forget the mistake I’d made tonight. And so I did. Only throughout the whole time I surfed, one thought kept my mind busy: How could something that feels so right be a mistake?

Ash

I met my mom on the beach after she also came to catch some waves. We spent the whole morning surfing, which was a nice distraction from the shitshow I called my life. Once done, we decided to eat lunch at her place. The boys wouldn’t be back until the evening, so I was in no hurry to return home. After I left Soren’s house, I visited home first to check on the dogs and only then went to the beach. Now, I took them with me over to Mom’s.

“Where’s David?” David was her boyfriend of three years.

“He’s with his kids today.”

“That’s nice,” I hummed, tapping the table with my fingers while Mom checked out the fridge. “How about burgers?” She pulled out a package of ground beef.

“I slept with Soren,” I blurted out, watching for Mom’s reaction.

Putting the beef back inside the fridge, she kicked the door closed, then turned back to face me. “Yeah, burgers sound great,” she said, walking toward me. “How’s that for an answer?”

“Sorry,” I muttered, already feeling like it was a mistake to bring up the subject. I was never good at keeping things bottled up—not with her, anyway. Not having many friends, my mom was basically the only place I went to unload. She was my official complaining address, whether it was problems with the boys or just life struggles.

“So you slept with Soren?” she asked after sitting beside me.

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Last night.” She said nothing, and I knew it was her sign for me to give more details. “Kai and I got into a huge fight after he’d been a total jerk, so I just drove there and…”

“Fucked your anger out?” she offered, and I frowned.

“Mom.” I’d forever be caught off guard by her directness.

She chuckled. “It is what it is, babe.”

“I told you not to call me babe,” I grunted while scratching my head. “Kai calls me that, and it’s just weird when you do it, too.”

“Fair enough.” She dropped her smile. “What are you going to do with Kai? I mean, you’re going to tell him, right?”

That was the thing killing me. I was still pissed at him, to say the least, but also guilty as fuck over sleeping with Soren. Sure, Kai fucked people all the time. That’s how I’d gotten into this situation. But the people he slept with were strangers, while Soren… definitely wasn’t a stranger. With my heart rate increasing each time I thought back on last night, I also couldn’t pretend it was a one-night stand that I could simply put behind me and go on with my day like nothing happened.