Page 29 of Unexpected Prejudice

“So, Andrei and Diesel went to Juvie with you? Is this how you all met?”

Jess got up from Levi’s lap and stretched his neck while moving to sit on the rail of their bench. I’d often noticed that he struggled to sit still, constantly shifting around, but the weed made him a bit less jumpy.

“Sort of, although we became a family only after Chief took us all in.” That Chief again. I wondered what his real name was and what he looked like. I also wanted to know what made him take four youths with criminal records into his house.

“Can I ask what you guys did to get in there?”

“We robbed a shop, or at least tried to.”

“How about we failed to rob a shop?” Levi offered, and Jess laughed. He loved laughing, and I liked listening to him when he did.

“Yeah, well… It was a total failure. But in our defense, those cops came out of nowhere.”

I leaned forward in my chair, curious to learn more. “What about Andrei and Diesel? How did they end up in Juvie?”

Jess twisted his lips and then poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. “Well, Andrei used a baseball bat to beat up his mom’s abusive boyfriend. His mom was a real jerk and told the cops shit about him that landed his ass in Juvie. He got a year. And Diesel? I don’t know what he did.” Jess moved his eyes away from me and looked at Levi. “I don’t even think Andrei knows. He’s also been to Juvie, like, three times? I dunno.” He shrugged. “Diesel isn’t the sharing type.”

“What’s with all the questions?” Levi asked, and I was suddenly struck with nerves. Was I being too obvious? But once his lips curved into a smile, I felt relief wash over me.

“Why won’t you tell us something about yourself?” His curiosity in me was a pleasant surprise. I’d already noticed his growing interest earlier today in school. When I’d found them in the hall, I didn’t miss how he was checking me out—how they were both checking me out.

I rested my arms on my knees. “What would you like to know? Just ask, and I’ll answer.”

“Why did you invite us to the party?” Levi asked and took a drag from their blunt that’d almost reached its end.

“Why not?”

“You said you’ll answer our questions, not avoid them.”

“Touché.” I smiled and pressed my palms together. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I think I just like you guys.”

Levi frowned. “Like us? How so?”

“Yeah.” I moved my hand over my buzz cut and wished I still had my braids. I quickly scanned the surrounding party, ensuring we were alone, before I looked back at them. Once again, Jess was snuggled up close to Levi. They were so intimate with each other even when they weren’t. It was the small gestures that spoke of love. It made me jealous, and I wished I had something like that with Shay-Lee.

“I’m gay.” The two didn’t speak but looked at me patiently. “Fuck, I never really said that out loud until now.”

“Don’t worry. We won’t say a word.” Jess’s touch on my knee was reassuring.

“Thanks. I appreciate it. I never meant for it to be a secret, but it just turned out to be one, you know?”

“Yeah.” Jess nodded while Levi stayed quiet.

“Anyway, I guess that’s why I was drawn to you in the first place.” It was the truth. From the moment my eyes landed on them in detention, I wanted to get to know them. It was pure curiosity.

“So, why us?” Levi finally spoke. “I’m sure there are other gay guys in Beverly Bay. Take Miles, for example. He’s out and proud.”

That was a fair point. But Levi didn’t understand that Beverly Bay wasn’t just a regular high school. It was a powerhouse for teens with means and connections to the real world. What happened there reached the elite in seconds. That saying about what happened in high school, stayed in high school was complete bullshit. What you did in Beverly Bay would remain with you forever, and I wasn’t ready for the whole world to know I was gay, especially when I planned to chase a professional football career. Yes, there were some out players, but they were numbered and only came out after they had contracts and a shit ton of sponsors.

“Miles’s life is completely different from mine. For starters, he has wealthy gay parents who can keep him safe, allowing him to live his life the way he wants to. I don’t have that. I don’t have the privilege to be who I want to be.”

Until then, I hadn’t even realized how heavy those words felt, sitting on my shoulders. Admitting it didn’t change anything, but it made me feel a little better.

“What do you mean you don’t have the privilege?” Levi asked, and it occurred to me that I may have shared a little too much.

“Nothing, really. I don’t know why I said that.” I rubbed my face with my palms when I felt Jess’s hand on my shoulder. I raised my head to look at him and was faced with his big, emerald eyes. He was obviously high, from the size of his pupils, but I knew he heard me. They both did.

“The real question is…” Jess spoke slowly, pausing between words. Combined with his seriousness, it was amusing. “Who do you want to be?”