Page 136 of Unexpected Prejudice

Tears wet my face, and I turned my head, rubbing my head against his neck. “It doesn’t feel like it.” I squeezed my eyes and took slow breaths of his addicting scent.

We weren’t even a couple, but I couldn’t be without him.

“I love you.” My voice trembled.

“I know.”

“And you love me, too.”

“Love isn’t enough.”

“Maybe it can be here,” I cried as his hand gripped my neck harder and he kissed the top of my head.

“Look what love did to you.”

Afraid of the moment he’d let go of me, I fisted his shirt. “I don’t care. I-I don’t.”

“But I do,” he said, his voice sharp. “And I won’t let you ruin your future because of me. I’m not worth it.”

Fighting him on that seemed pointless because I knew he wouldn’t listen to me no matter what I said. He never did.

“So, come with me.” Pushing back from his chest, I faced him and took my last shot. “Come to New York with me. Please, baby, I need you.” I gave him a weak smile before bringing his hand to my heart. “I need you so much, and you need me, too. To distract yourself, remember? I can help you to feel numb. I can do that. I’ll do anything for you.”

Shaking his head, he took a deep breath. “I can’t come with you. I’m sorry.”

“Please.” My face burned with the heat of my cry. “Please.”

“We can talk on the phone,” he said, moving his fingers to wipe my tears. “We can talk every night.”

“What does that mean?”

Caressing the side of my jaw, he sighed. “It means we can speak on the phone. That’s all it means.”

And then what? We’d talk on the phone, and those three, four, maybe five months pass, and then what? “Will you wait for me?”

He bit on his lips, pain twisting his face and that damn sorrow dancing in his eyes. “We’re not a couple. You know that. I don’t do relationships, Jordan.”

“Why?”

He shrugged, obviously not having an answer. If only I had the power to break down the wall standing between us. We were always so close and, at the same time, so far.

Still holding my hand, he got up.

“Jordan.”

No, don’t say my name like it’s the last time.

“Jordan, look at me.”

I can’t.

“Please, just look at me.”

I looked at him.

I’m always so weak when it comes to you.

“You have such beautiful eyes. They always shine so bright.”