Page 121 of Unexpected Prejudice

“It was itchy.”

His brows knitted together, and worry took over his pale face. “Did you remember to take your meds? Whenever you’re anxious, you feel itchy.”

Of course, he’d be worried about me. He was always worried about me and took care of me, but what about him? That was my job and I’d failed.

“I did,” I said, moving my hand over my buzzed hair. “I missed you, Babydoll.”

Levi held my stare for another moment before he started to walk again, passing me on the way to his dad’s tombstone. Being ignored by him stung, but I knew it was his defense mechanism kicking in again. Not that he needed one with me. Not anymore.

“It’s only been a week.” He put the flowers on the ground beside him and grabbed a cloth from his pocket. With his back to me, he began cleaning the stone of the dust and grime.

“It’s felt like forever to me.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice came out flat, and I knew he was holding back.

“Did you have fun with your mom?”

“Yeah, we did.” He was cleaning the same spot over and over again as a distraction, covering his lie.

“I know you didn’t.” My eyes were glued to his back, waiting for his response. “I went over to see her today.”

He turned around, finally reacting to my words. “What?”

“I went to her house and found out she was an asshole again.”

Levi’s jaw tensed before he huffed and turned back around. “Well, who cares?” His movements were sharp and rough as he tried to hide his anger. “It’s not like I cared that much.”

“But you do care, and now you’re hurt, and that’s okay. It’s okay to be hurt.”

He stayed silent, so I stepped closer. “I’ve hurt you, too. I’ve hurt us, but until you open up to me, we won’t be able to move forward.”

“I have opened up.”

“Leaving is not opening up, Babydoll. It’s running away, and you don’t run away from us.”

By now, I’d reached his side. He still wasn’t looking at me, but that didn’t stop me.

“Back then, when we tried to rob that shop, I was in there, while you were out in the car. You could’ve left me behind, run away, and saved yourself from getting caught, but you didn’t. You ran toward me, toward us, because whatever we do, we do together.”

I crouched beside him and put my hand over his, forcing him to stop cleaning. Now, close enough that I could feel the warmth radiate from his body, I continued. “So, when we laugh, we laugh together. When we love, we love together, and when we hurt? We hurt together.”

I clenched his hand tighter, and he sucked in his bottom lip. He wasn’t looking at me, but I was looking at him. I was always looking at him. “And I’ve hurt us, not just now, but for so long. I’ve hurt us because I allowed you to be hurt alone. I was stupid and needy and took everything you offered until you were left bare and exposed, and it shouldn’t be like that. It will never be like that because…”

I stopped and hooked my thumb under his chin, forcing him to look at me. Seeing the unshed tears in his eyes made it hard to breathe. I hated myself for putting him in this situation, but I already had, and now it was time to heal us.

“It will never be like that again because you’re my Babydoll, and it’s my fucking job to take care of you, to take care of us, and I failed to do that. And I’ll work extra hard not to fail you again, to make sure you know how much you are wanted and needed, and that I’ll always be there for you. Even if you decided to leave me one day, I’ll still be there for you. Got that, Babydoll?”

“I-I was scared you’d put me in the box.” His lips trembled right before tears started to stream down his face, and they didn’t stop.

Without a second thought, I pulled him in and hugged him tight.

“I didn’t want to be in the box.” He sniffled between words. “I didn’t want you to hate me and move on like you do with all the bad things in your life.”

I once told him how I kept all my bad memories in an imaginary box and that it helped me to move on, but move on from him? Fucking impossible. There was no moving on from him because he was my everything.

“You’re the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I could never imagine you anywhere near that box, and you shouldn’t either. Nothing you could do would ever push me away, Levi, absolutely nothing. ”

“W-what if—”