Page 80 of A Thief to Die For

‘Your choices are death or marriage. And really,’ the Commander muses, ‘the answer is obvious. You know what you have to do. Your people in Kingsland are counting on you.’

Death or marriage – either way, I lose Marian. For how much that hurts, you’d think I’ve lost a limb. A surprising reaction to losing someone I didn’t know weeks ago.

It’s because I’ve fallen in love with her.

‘Ryland,’ Marian says, eyes desperate. Then she speaks two words that throw my world on its head. ‘It’s okay.’

I shake my head. It’s really not.

‘I can’t watch you die.’ The feverish panic is back in her face. ‘Just live. Do what you have to do. We’ll figure the rest out.’

She doesn’t get it. If I do this, I can’t stop the connection.

If I marry Agatha, this is our end.

‘Time’s up. What’s your answer?’ the Commander demands.

The only answer I want to give is to bury Soren’s knife in both his and Atlas’s lungs.

‘Start the wedding,’ the Commander says to Brother Thomas. ‘Make it quick.’

Despite Marian’s assurances, she looks devastated. Defeated.

Brother Thomas appears before me, his face filled with the deep lines of a frown. He clears his throat, slow to start. ‘A wedding is a serious lifelong commitment to one another,’ he says loudly for all to hear. ‘A vow before God and not something to be taken lightly.’

‘Yes, yes. Get on with it,’ the Commander says.

Brother Thomas’s eyes turn apologetic as he continues, skipping over his scriptures on love that he spoke in the first ceremony. Because this isn’t about love.

But that doesn’t mean it won’t come. My eyes close. That’s the thing about the connection – it unites you. Draws you together. Mind. Spirit.

Body.

I feel like I can’t breathe.

‘Agatha,’ Brother Thomas asks. ‘Do you choose to love and honour Ryland?’

My heart thunders. It’s a small mercy that he’s asking her first, but how are we at the vows already?

‘Do you choose to take him as your wedded husband for all of your days?’

‘I do,’ Agatha says, voice surprisingly strong. Her despondency is gone. Now she looks encouraged, almost eager.

You don’t understand what you’re saying yes to.

‘And do you, Ryland, choose to love and honour Agatha? Do you choose to take her as your wedded wife for all of your days?’

Choose. He changed the vows from what I spoke to Marian. Boiled them down to the bones. It’s still too specific. Cruel. No, I don’t choose this. But that’s what I’d have to do. Every day, going forward, I’d have to choose Agatha.

I hesitate. Soren’s knife disappears from my back and slides to my throat. I hiss as he cuts me, digging in.

I’m out of time. Atlas wins.

‘I … do,’ I say, speaking my vow before the Creator.

‘Inow pronounce you husband and wife.’

I feel like I’ve stepped outside my body.