Page 13 of A Thief to Die For

There’s a distinct smell to the guy that should have warded off any attack to begin with. I move closer, needing to see the colour of his eyes – one of the few details I do remember. Brown. I exhale – it’s not him.

‘You good?’ I ask, lowering my weapon.

‘I almost had them,’ he says, limping back to his wagon.

I watch him carefully, something about him not sitting right. His eyes are shifty. He’s hurrying too much, like he’s got somewhere to be at three in the morning.

His hand slips into the back of his wagon, then he whirls on us, pointing a loaded crossbow at my chest.

We all stiffen.

‘Drop your weapons,’ he shouts, all pleasantries gone. One finger twitch and I’m dead.

All of us obey, although Samuel takes it personally. ‘Are you kidding me?’ he growls. ‘We just helped you.’

‘Whatcha got on you?’ the man demands, eyes wild. ‘Hand it over. All of it.’

‘Wait,’ Levi shouts. ‘I … have a question first.’

For some reason, that stumps the old man. ‘Well, what is it?’

‘It’s actually a comment.’ Levi cocks his head. ‘Maybe two comments.’

Sam huffs. ‘Did your mother raise the placenta instead of the baby? Get on with it!’

It takes a monumental amount of self-control not to pinch the bridge of my nose.

‘Anyway,’ Levi directs to the old guy. ‘I just wanted to point out that you have only one loaded bolt and there are three of us.’

The man nods. ‘And? It’ll still kill one of yas.’

‘Right. But’ – Levi jabs his thumb in Sam’s direction – ‘just make sure you hit him first, because if you don’t, he’s gonna decorate the ground with you.’

The old man swings his crossbow to Sam, and as he does, Levi flies forward and tackles our would-be robber. The two of them land hard on the ground, and the crossbow springs from the man’s hand.

I lunge forward and scoop it out of the dirt, then aim it at the weasel’s heaving chest.

‘Hey. Hey, hey, hey,’ he says, painting on a sudden grin as Levi climbs off him. His one gnarled hand shoots up in submission. ‘I-I was just kidding. I wouldn’t have actually done it.’

And I’m an elf. I eye him warily. ‘What’re we going to do with him?’ I call over my shoulder. We can’t leave him tied up; he’ll die in a matter of days.

No one answers, but there is a gurgling sound behind me. I glance back and find Sam strangling Levi. Wonder Boy’s face is a concerning shade of about-to-be-murdered. ‘Sam!’ I shout, which accomplishes nothing. I throw myself between them. Levi drops to all fours, gasping for breath.

The wagon driver slowly crabwalks backwards … and you know what? Have at it. ‘What are you still doing here, old man? Go on. Run.’

He scrambles to his feet and I briefly consider going with him. Because, bloody hellfire, I’m surrounded by absolute sausages.

‘There’s a sign,’ Levi says, pointing to the painted board on a stick. ‘Entering Notting Militia territory. Use only official entrance road or be shot.’

‘Look at that,’ Sam mutters. ‘He can read.’

‘I can – want me to teach you?’

I drop the map to my lap and glare in their direction. Thankfully, they both shut up. ‘The map doesn’t mention a militia or any name. But this should be it.’ It had better be. After five days of travelling – three since the middle-of-the-night raid – I’m twenty reps past I-can’t-take-these-people-anymore. I squint at the jagged hills up ahead. The landscape has changed again. Now, we’re surrounded by patches of bare land and forest but just in front of us are some rocky highlands. The militia must occupy the higher ground. ‘Do you think the mine could be up there?’

‘That looks like a tomorrow problem,’ Sam says. ‘We’re losing light. We should make camp and risk trespassing in the morning.’

‘Or …’ Levi says, ‘we could ask that wagon.’ He ticks his head at the travellers coming down the official Notting entrance.