Page 42 of Kiss Me Like You Mean It

Lee clears her throat delicately. ‘Even so, I think there are a few issues we need to discuss.’

‘Yeah,’ I break in, ‘like how do you imagine we’d explain to everyone the fact that I suddenly have a wife, popping up from nowhere?’

‘Naturally we considered that issue,’ Magda agrees. ‘And that’s why we already told them. The whole town has agreed to take part in the ruse. We’ve got a week to get everything prepared. We’ll just pretend Lee has been here the entire time.’

‘You already discussed this with the whole town…’ I know my face has lost some colour. ‘Christ.’

‘Is Christ a curse word?’ Phoebe crinkles her brow, already reaching for her notebook.

‘You’ve got to leave me something, Bee,’ I plead and my daughter grudgingly chooses to let this one slide.

‘When did you even plot this whole thing?’ I ask.

‘We had an emergency meeting yesterday,’ Magda says. ‘You weren’t invited.’

‘Oh, of course. Why consult me on the matter?’

‘So we’d act as though Nico and I have really been married for a year?’ Lee clarifies, ignoring my grumbling.

‘That’s right,’ Magda nods, ‘and then any particular absences can be explained by you travelling for work.’

‘On your website it says that you do a lot of travelling,’ Phoebe says, looking at Lee with interest.

‘Not as much as I used to, but yes, I often consult abroad,’ Lee agrees.

‘And aren’t your family all like really famous actors?’ Phoebe tilts her head. ‘You must be good at pretending.’

‘Actually, no,’ Lee says. ‘I’m not good at it at all. I was always a bit of a disappointment. Still,’ she carries on quickly and her voice is too bright, ‘it shouldn’t be that hard, right? All I have to do is be here looking… responsible. I’m good at that. I mean, we are married. All the paperwork is perfectly legal and correct. We’ve been married for a whole year. We’re not lying about the important part. There’s no reason to question it, is there?’

‘Exactly,’ Magda nods, looking pleased with herself. ‘And we can discuss all the details tonight at the town meeting. I think it’s best on this occasion if we all attend.’

‘Including Phoebe?’ I ask.

‘Of course including me.’ Phoebe pushes her glasses up her nose. ‘I’m the mastermind, Dad.’

‘Actually, we’re all very excited,’ Magda continues blithely. ‘It will be a fun community activity. Remember for the Spring Festival when we did the town-wide murder mystery? We have some talented thespians around,’ she tells Lee with a wide smile. ‘It really brought people together.’

‘What I remember is everyone sloping around in trench coats, and Annie forgetting to actually give anybody the murderer card so the game went on for a week, descending into town-wide paranoia, wild accusations and fisticuffs in the town square,’ I say grimly.

‘But we had so much fun!’ Magda trills.

I look over at Lee. She doesn’t even have to say anything, I know she’s going to agree to this. She’ll sign herself up to this foolish, unlikely scheme because she wants to help me and Phoebe. Even though it will complicate her life, even though there’s no reason for her to do it.

Three pairs of eyes are trained on me. Four, actually, because even Taco is looking at me expectantly.

‘We’ll go to the meeting and hear what everyone has to say,’ I say grudgingly. Then I meet Lee’s gaze. ‘But don’t say I didn’t warn you.’

Chapter Fourteen

Lee

‘Wait, wait!’ Tara’s face is so close to the camera, her tight, dark curls are practically quivering; her voice is breathless with excitement. ‘You’re going to stay and pretend to be Nico’s wife for this lawyer person?’

‘Well, technically, I am his wife,’ I say, stretching out on the bed, my voice low so that no one can hear me filling in my best friend.

‘Oh my god!’ Tara’s camera wobbles as she moves around. ‘You’re doing a marriage of convenience! In a small town! You’re practically living in a romance novel right now!’

‘Are you making popcorn?’ I ask incredulously, even as her microwave dings and I watch her reach inside for the paper bag.