Page 138 of Kiss Me Like You Mean It

He shrugs. ‘No idea. I haven’t talked to Ward since Dad’s funeral and that was only in passing. Before that it had been years.’

‘I never liked to ask about them so I wasn’t totally sure,’ I admit. ‘I assumed you were all estranged.’

‘Yeah,’ he sighs. ‘I don’t think anyone was exactly thrilled when Dad married my mum so soon after his first wife died. Ward and Rupert were only babies themselves, so we were all very young when my parents split – I guess there wasn’t any reason for them to stay in touch. Harder for Mum than it was for me.’

I flinch at that. Knowing Claudia, she’d have bonded with her stepsons.

He nods at my expression. ‘I doubt Dad would have let her have any contact. I don’t know much about them, except that Rupert is married and he has two little boys. Dad had his heir, his spare, his line secure, so there wasn’t much need for me. Honestly, I think Mum getting pregnant was the beginning of the end for them.’

He says the words without emotion, but I know that what I’m looking at is a very deep hurt, the kind that has impacted his life in a hundred different ways, big and small.

‘You know,’ I say carefully, ‘whatever that letter says, it doesn’t change anything. Your dad was a bad father, a bad husband, a bad man. And you’re nothing like him. He might have made you feel like no one needed you, but that has never been true.’ I scramble up, onto my knees beside him. ‘You, Nico Hart, are loved.’ I press my lips to the sharp line of his cheekbone. ‘Deeply.’ I kiss the hollow underneath his ear. ‘Irrevocably.’ My mouth finds the tiny scar above his top lip. ‘For ever.’

His hand tightens around my waist and he pulls me into his lap, dragging me in for a long, slow kiss. Our marriage might be ending but his heart thumps under my splayed hand, each steady beat a promise.

‘I love you,’ he whispers against my skin, and I wonder if those words will ever feel ordinary or if it will be like this every time – an explosion of joy that feels too big for my body to hold.

‘I love you, too.’

We sit for a moment, quiet and content. ‘So,’ I say finally, ‘do you want to read it? Or are we doing some sort of ceremonial burning?’

‘You read it,’ Nico says, ‘we can always do the ceremonial burning afterwards.’ But he doesn’t relinquish his hold on me, so I reach over and grab the letter, still settled across his lap.

When I rip open the envelope I pull out a sheet of thick, expensive-looking paper topped with an actual family crest. The handwriting that covers it is scrawled and untidy in bold blue ink.

‘Dear Nico,’ I start. ‘If you are reading this then it means Charles has completed his assessment. I am sincerely sorry that you had to endure it at all. I spent a considerable amount of time trying to find a way around it, but our father managed to tie things up pretty tight. It was a vindictive thing to do, but perhaps that’s not surprising – he was a vindictive man. The conditions of the trust have now been met, and I will ensure a swift transfer of the funds in their entirety. They should have been yours all along.

‘I regret that he kept us apart for all these years, but more than that I regret my own complicity in allowing him to do so. If you feel that you want nothing more to do with our family, I wouldn’t blame you, but Rupert and I would both like the chance to get to know you and our niece if you were open to the idea.

‘I leave it to you. In the meantime if I can ever offer any assistance, don’t hesitate.

‘Ward.’

I glance up from the letter to find Nico’s expression thoughtful.

‘Not what I expected,’ he says finally.

I run my finger over the ink. ‘He’s very Jane Austen, isn’t he? Very formal and full of honour. I bet he does a lot of striding.’

Nico’s mouth kicks up. ‘Yes, he does actually. He’s always seemed like a serious sort of person.’

‘What do you want to do about it?’

He glances down at the letter again, then he plucks it from my hand and throws it back on the table. ‘I’ll think about it,’ he says. ‘Right now I’m very happy to concentrate on the family I have.’

Then he turns the full force of his concentration on me and I find I have no complaints about this decision.

Chapter Forty-Five

Nico

The day after Halloween is Thursday and so rather than bringing her home, Magda takes Phoebe straight to school, which is good news because after the emotional upheaval of yesterday, I’m ready for a slower start. It was late by the time we got to sleep, and not just because I couldn’t keep my hands off Lee, but because there was so much to talk about: this whole situation with Edward but also our surprise visitors, the fact that Gran knows what’s been going on… and that she didn’t hear it from us.

Lee’s still asleep when I wake up, and I take a moment to look at her. The morning light filtering through the curtains casts her face in tantalising shadows. I linger over the kissable corner of her mouth, the gentle curve of her shoulder, the way the sheets are rumpled just so underneath her hand: there’s art in every line of her.

Eventually, I tear myself away and head for the shower, leaving her to sleep. When I come out of the bathroom, one towel wrapped around my hips, another ruffling my still wet hair, Lee is kneeling up on the bed with a troubled look on her face.

‘Here,’ she says awkwardly. ‘I think you’d better give these back to your mum.’