Page 135 of Kiss Me Like You Mean It

‘Yeah, and why we’re fine with Lee disappearing off with an actual mobster,’ Jack puts in.

‘Frankie loves Lee,’ I say absently.

It’s a good job there’s a big crowd and everyone’s wearing ridiculous costumes because for once Jack and Cynthie are flying under the radar, but who knows how long that will last. I glance nervously around to make sure we’re not about to be mobbed.

‘Let’s find somewhere quiet to talk. Come with me.’ I lead them through the crowd towards Scoops. Miss Rita is still handing out ice cream from her little trolley in the doorway and this is potentially a huge risk, but I have no choice.

‘Nico!’ she beams. ‘Finally come to try…’ Her gaze moves over my shoulder and her eyes widen. ‘Oh em gee,’ she whispers. She’s already humming the Blood/Lust theme tune and I need to snap her out of this immediately before she causes a riot.

‘Rita,’ I say firmly. ‘Look at me. Focus. We have a Code Red Wedding.’

Her eyes snap to my face. ‘What?’ she barks, and I’m relieved that her commitment to the plan has temporarily outweighed her need to read my best friend the fan fiction she’s definitely written about him. ‘When?’

‘Charles is here. And you know who else has turned up? Lee’s ex-mob-boss friend, her famous brother and his Oscar-winning fiancée. They all arrived about five minutes ago and none of them have a clue what’s going on.’ I wince, unable to believe I’m saying this. ‘The crumpet is in the wind.’

Her phone is already in her hand. ‘Say no more,’ she says, ‘I’ve got this.’

‘We need a place to lie low for a bit.’ I gesture past her and she nods, moving aside so that we can slip into the empty shop. I watch as Rita smashes down on the red alarm emoji. Soon the phones of everyone in town will be lighting up like there’s an earthquake warning.

I hustle Cynthie and Jack inside and we sit at a table away from the windows.

‘This is adorable,’ Cynthie sighs. ‘You know, Jack, it reminds me of that place in LA…’ The two of them share another one of their secret couple smiles.

When Jack turns back to me his expression is definitely a lot more wintery. ‘Now, enough fucking about… spill it, Hart.’

I rub my forehead. ‘Okay, long story short, Lee and I got married in Las Vegas.’

‘When?’ Jack asks, and he leans back, his arms crossed over his chest.

‘A year ago.’

There’s a long, baffled silence.

‘I think I need another bag of kettle corn,’ Cynthie murmurs.

‘You’ve been married for a year?’ Jack explodes. ‘And neither of you told us? What the fuck, man?’

Of course he’s hurt. I knew he would be, and it feels bloody terrible.

‘It’s not that simple,’ I sigh. ‘We didn’t actually know about it.’

‘Okay, whatever this story is, bagsy the movie rights,’ Cynthie says and I manage a reluctant laugh; even Jack’s mouth softens a little.

I fill them in on what they’ve missed, keeping the finer details to myself. I think we’ve already traumatised Jack enough.

‘Jesus, your dad was such a bastard,’ Jack says at the end, shaking his head. ‘But this is the most insane story I’ve ever heard, and I’ll remind you that I star in a TV series where I’ve been brought back from the dead three times.’

‘Only twice,’ Cynthie argues. ‘You can’t count the time you came back as Lucius – he was your evil great-great-great grandfather.’

‘Still,’ Jack doesn’t look impressed. ‘You’re saying this all started out as a mistake and now… what? Suddenly it’s real?’

‘Not suddenly,’ I protest, knowing it sounds weak. ‘Lee and I… we have something special. We always have, but it’s changed. I love her, Jack. You know me, I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t mean it.’ I need him to believe me.

He holds my gaze for a long moment and then he gives a tight nod.

Cynthie, on the other hand, has hearts in her eyes. ‘I think it’s wonderful. The second most romantic story I’ve ever heard after ours.’

‘Oh yeah,’ I scoff. ‘Really romantic when you signed him up to that penis enlargement supplement website. He was getting emails from them for years no matter how often he unsubscribed.’