Page 113 of Kiss Me Like You Mean It

I exhale slowly. ‘Want to go and get a proper drink?’

Chapter Thirty-Six

Nico

I honestly don’t know how we ended up here, but I am line dancing. More accurately, I am stumbling around, bashing into people while Lee line dances.

After dinner, we walked over to Darlene’s hand in hand, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. When we arrived at the bar the high-top tables had been moved, leaving a large empty space.

‘Oh god,’ I winced. ‘Dancing.’

‘Line dancing?’ Her face lit up.

‘I’m not doing it,’ I said firmly. Lee took years of ballet classes and she genuinely loves to dance but I, on the other hand, have two left feet.

‘Oh,’ she pasted on a smile, so careful not even to glance at the dance floor again, ‘of course. Let’s just grab a drink.’

And that is how I ended up line dancing: because when her eyes were sad and resigned all I cared about was making her happy. Because I couldn’t be another person who didn’t put her needs first. If she wanted to dance then fuck it, we’d dance all night.

And I should be hating every second, but I’m not. Because Lee loves it. While the music plays and Randall calls out indecipherable phrases like ‘right jazzbox’, I flail about like an idiot, and Lee moves effortlessly into formation with the twenty other people who also speak this secret language.

‘How are you doing this?’ I hiss when I knock into her side for the fourth time.

She laughs, her eyes sparkling. ‘It’s easy once you lock into it… it’s just patterns. Follow me.’

She places a hand on my arm and starts counting, pushing and tugging at me to change direction. I’m still terrible, but at least now I’m facing the same direction as everyone else.

‘You’re doing really well,’ Lee encourages me, when I manage to hit several correct steps in a row. ‘You’re so good.’ Her sweet encouragement, the words that she keeps murmuring in a low, excited voice are unfortunately leading to impure thoughts on my part. As is the jumper that keeps sliding on and off her shoulder, revealing a tantalising glimpse of her bra strap, the tiny freckle by her collarbone.

I almost head in the wrong direction again, but she hooks her hand around my arm, spinning me towards her, and her giggle is the loveliest thing I’ve ever heard.

It doesn’t really matter what Lee and I discussed, I know there’s only one way this thing ends… with me picking up the pieces of my obliterated heart as she flies away. I’ve never been close to feeling this vulnerable before. I’ve never cared enough about anyone to get hurt, but with Lee we’re starting something with a lifetime of history behind it. I’m already in so deep, I feel wild – reckless, exhilarated, ecstatic. Scared.

The song finally finishes, and the group breaks, ready to go and grab more drinks, but a few dancers stay behind. When the juke box hums and clicks, sliding in the next record, and the opening bars to ‘To Know Him is to Love Him’ fill the air, there’s a murmur of appreciation and a handful of couples start to dance.

‘This is a bit more my speed,’ I say. I hold out my hand and Lee slips into my arms without hesitation, like she belongs there.

One of my hands rests on the small of her back, holding her close. The other is tangled with hers, and I pull it against my chest, over my erratically beating heart.

‘Thank you for dancing with me,’ she says softly, as we sway gently around the dance floor.

‘Any time.’ I lift my arm, sending her out into a spin and then twirling her back into my arms. She crashes against my chest, laughing.

By some unspoken agreement we carry on dancing, even when the song ends and another begins.

‘So, how did it go, talking to Jack tonight?’ she asks after a moment.

‘I felt like a dick keeping this a secret from him,’ I admit.

‘I was surprised to hear Phoebe talking about Uncle Jack and Aunt Cyn,’ Lee says. ‘Have you guys spent a lot of time together?’

She keeps the words light, but I catch the faint trace of yearning in them, and I know what’s going on: she feels left out. I introduced Jack and Cynthie to Phoebe, and Lee didn’t even know she existed.

That didn’t seem like a strange idea before, but now it does. Now I feel awful about it, actually.

‘We’ve met up a few times, and they talk on FaceTime,’ I say carefully. ‘Last time Jack and Cynthie were in New York, Phoebe and I stayed with them for a few days, and we’ve hung out in Boston a couple of times, when our schedules lined up. But they’ve never come here.’

Lee’s eyes widen. ‘They haven’t been to Roseport? Why?’