Page 102 of Kiss Me Like You Mean It

As I wasn’t sleeping anyway, I came in ridiculously early. I’m so close to finishing up this renovation at the inn that there isn’t even anything for me to smash up. What I wouldn’t give for a good demolition job right now.

Instead, I’ve been carefully reassembling the desk in reception at the base of the stairs. A hundred years old, this desk has greeted guests upon arrival through the front door, since the inn first opened. I couldn’t leave it in situ when we were hauling all the building materials in and out and using this space as a holding area, so I took it apart and it’s been in storage for months. Putting it back together in its rightful place was supposed to be a milestone, a sign that the renovation was almost at an end. It was supposed to give me a sense of satisfaction.

The irony is not lost on me. The last thing I feel right now is satisfied.

I’m almost done, on the floor, screwing one of the doors to the desk’s cupboards into place when it hits me: the scent of honey and smoke that’s haunted me for almost two weeks now, that lingers in my house, on my clothes, chasing me around town reminding me of her presence twenty-four, fucking seven.

When I look up, Lee is already inside the front door.

‘Hi,’ she says, tucking a strand of hair that has come loose from her braid behind her ear in a nervous gesture. She smiles.

I lever myself up from the floor.

‘Hi.’ My voice is little more than a growl.

‘I know you said in your note that we’d talk later, but I couldn’t wait.’ She takes a step forward. ‘There are some things I need to say.’

Thankfully the desk is between us so she can’t see that the sound of her voice already has me hard. I am so gone for this woman it’s humiliating.

‘Are you okay?’ I ask carefully.

She nods, takes a deep breath. ‘I’m feeling confused about last night,’ she blurts. ‘I thought you were rejecting me… and then you…’ She flushes. ‘So I thought maybe… but then you left.’

My stomach swoops as I parse these half sentences and understand exactly what she’s saying. Shit.

‘I wasn’t,’ I say quickly. ‘Rejecting you, I mean. Not at all.’ I rub the back of my neck. ‘Fuck. I’ve made a mess of this.’

I was trying to do the right thing and all I did was make her feel bad about herself.

‘Maybe.’ She tilts her head, considering me. Something is going on with her, her cheeks are still flushed. Her eyes keep dipping to my chest and my arms. ‘Why don’t you explain it to me?’

‘You’d been drinking,’ I say, a desperate edge to my words. ‘I didn’t want you to do anything you’d regret. I didn’t want anything else to happen until we’d talked about it, about what it would mean. There are a lot of things to consider before you and I… before we take any steps that change what we have.’

She thinks about this for a moment, and her expression softens. ‘I knew what I was doing last night. You didn’t take advantage of the situation. I wanted it. I wanted more. I still do.’ She lifts her chin as if daring me to disagree.

I can’t pretend I’m not relieved. A tiny part of me worried that we’d taken things too far, whatever I convinced myself of in the moment. Still, the rest of her words hit me like a sledgehammer.

‘More?’ I manage eloquently.

She takes another step forward, and there’s a light in her eye I’ve never seen before. It looks like I’m not the only one confronting my baser nature this morning.

‘We should… talk,’ I say.

‘Yes,’ Lee agrees distantly, her eyes sliding over my torso again. ‘That’s why I came here. To talk. Only now…’

‘Now, what?’

‘Now I really want you to kiss me.’

The confession hangs in the air between us. She’s blushing and I don’t think she’s as calm and confident as she sounds. I think she probably spent all morning psyching herself up for this. I think last night she really did believe I was turning her down, and she made herself drive over here and talk to me anyway.

I need to handle this the right way, but as there is no blood left in my head it seems unlikely that I’m going to be able to work through the subtle nuances of our current situation. All I want to do is touch her.

I watch her as she rounds the desk, her fingers trailing over the surface.

‘This is beautiful work,’ she says, and her voice is breathy. Static electricity buzzes across my skin. There’s nothing I can do but stand here, my heart pounding, as she comes closer.

‘I think it’s very impressive… what you can do with your hands.’ Her pupils are enormous, she looks high but I’m sure I do, too. I’m absolutely off my face on lust.