Page 100 of Kiss Me Like You Mean It

‘Have you seen my headphones?’ Nico calls, and then he mutters something about needing a soothing meditation.

‘My AirPods are in the side of my carry-on,’ I call back. Maybe he wants me, just not enough to actually do anything about it, not enough to cross the line from friendship into whatever this is. I shouldn’t really be mad at him for that, but I am.

I’m so deep in thought that it takes approximately twenty seconds for me to realise what I’ve done, but it’s twenty seconds too long. By the time I come skidding out of the bathroom, Nico has my bag out on the bed and is staring down at something in his hand, a thoughtful look in his eye.

‘It’s…’ I start.

‘Lee, it’s been a while, but trust me, I know what this is.’ He lifts the small air pulse vibrator so I can see it.

I swallow. As a sexually active woman who travels a lot, I have zero shame about the handy sex toy I carry in my luggage. For me it’s as routine as packing my toothbrush. However, I was not prepared for the sight of it in Nico’s hand. I was not prepared for the heat in his gaze when he turns to me. That look is back, the wolfish gleam in his eyes, and my body approves of it wholeheartedly, even as my emotions are pinballing all over the place.

He considers the toy for a moment, rubbing his thumb over the buttons. ‘Have you been using this?’ he asks, his tone conversational.

‘What?’

‘I was just wondering. Have you been using this here? In my bed? In my shower?’

‘Maybe,’ I manage.

He tilts his head, running his eyes over me. It’s a look that I feel everywhere, and I squeeze my thighs together.

‘And what did you think about?’ He takes a step towards me. ‘When you used your toy to get yourself off… did you think about me?’

I hesitate.

‘Tell me,’ he says. It’s a demand, but there’s the bite of something desperate underneath.

My tongue darts out to lick my suddenly dry lips. ‘Y-yes,’ I whisper.

He looks pleased by this confession. ‘Good,’ he murmurs, taking another step forward. I don’t even realise I’ve moved as well, until my back hits the wall.

‘So when I leave you here alone tonight,’ he says, still in that mild tone, his hand coming up to rest on the wall by my face as he leans in. I turn my head, watching the flex of the muscles in his forearm, close enough for me to sink my teeth into. ‘Are you going to use it then?’

My eyes slash back to his.

‘Yes,’ I admit, my fingers curling into the palms of my hands so that I don’t reach for him.

He looks at me, something frantic thrashing in his stormy gaze.

‘Still not going to touch me?’ I whisper, the words a taunt and a challenge.

His jaw tics. ‘No.’

But he wants to. It’s in every taut line of him. He wants to touch me very badly. Whatever the reason is that he’s stopping himself… it’s not because he doesn’t want me.

The realisation settles. I smile up at him. ‘So you don’t mind if I… take care of matters myself?’

Slowly, I reach out and take the vibrator from his hand. There’s a gentle hum as I turn it on.

He inhales sharply. His expression is one of surprise. ‘Now?’ he asks.

‘Now,’ I agree.

The moment stretches between us. A dare thrown down.

I more than half expect him to leave, but he leans even closer, his body a welcome cage around mine. ‘And will you be picturing my mouth on you, my fingers inside you when you come?’

Oh my god.