Page 73 of Let’s Make a Scene

“Right, right.” Lorna nods. “You guys talk it over.”

Apparently Lorna and her giant smile have decided to ignore the news that Jack and I can’t stand each other. I suppose from her perspective, it doesn’t really matter… as long as we agree to her plan.

I don’t want to be left alone with Jack, but given what has just happened, it’s only going to make me look bad if I run screaming from his presence. Time to locate some poise.

After the others have gone, we sit in silence for so long that it becomes clear we’re locked in some sort of stand-off.

“Well,” I say, finally, giving in because it’s getting so ridiculous. “Just when we thought we were done with each other.”

Jack groans and leans forward in his chair, elbows braced on his knees, head in his hands.

“Is all this really necessary?” I make sure I sound bored, as I wave my hand in front of him. “Like Jasmine says, it’s no different from what they’ve already asked us to do. It’s only for a few weeks.” I get to my feet and stand in front of him, arms crossed. “I know it’s a terrible hardship for you to be forced to pretend you like me—and the feeling is mutual—but after everything Jasmine’s done for me, I’ll basically do anything she asks.”

This is true. Despite Jasmine’s insistence that she’s my director and not my friend or mentor, I crave her approval like a drug. I don’t need the intervention of a professional to understand this probably has something to do with my mother, but whatever. Wanting to impress Jasmine made me work harder and better, so I’m leaning in to the dysfunction.

I force myself to look at Jack now. I still can’t work out if I want to murder him or straddle him and smash our mouths together. I don’t understand how these two instincts can feel so close to one another.

Jack lifts his head at this, and daggers me with a glare that I think means the feeling is mutual. Getting stiffly to his feet, he looms over me.

“Six months,” he mutters almost under his breath. “It’s been six months. Why does it still feel like this?” For a moment he sounds bemused.

“I don’t know,” I admit, angrily. I reach up and place the palms of my hands against his chest. I can feel his heart hammering, the beat of it ricocheting through my whole body. I don’t know if I’m going to push him away or pull him closer.

Jack makes the decision for me when he steps back. My hands fall back to my sides.

“Fine,” he snaps. “If you want to carry on pretending nothing happened and put us through this, then so be it.”

“Me pretend nothing happened?” I choke. “Hi, pot, have you met kettle?”

Something flares in his gaze, but whatever it is, he shuts it down almost instantly. “What the fuck else am I supposed to do?” he says the words quietly, stepping even closer into my space. “Weeks of silence on set, months of silence afterward, and now you think it’s a great idea for the two of us to pretend to other people that we’re in love? I don’t understand you. What do you want, Cynthie? Because I haven’t got a fucking clue.”

Neither do I, I want to scream. I’m supposed to be concentrating on my career. This is the biggest moment of my life. Everything is about to change. Apparently, I’m about to uproot my whole life and move to another country. And when I’m around Jack I’m unable to think. It’s dangerous; it makes me feel vulnerable and out of control. I’m so confused.

Why is he even asking what I want? Like it matters, like he cares. Nothing he’s said or done has made me think that he finds the attraction between us anything other than a huge inconvenience. Surely ignoring it is the only solution, when acting on it only made things worse.

He looks at me like he’s waiting for something. There’s an emotion in his eyes that I tell myself I can’t read, but it makes me feel even more unsteady.

“I want the film to be a success,” I say, finally, because it’s the only truth I can hold on to with both hands. “I want to do whatever it takes to make that happen.”

He lets out a huff that is part laugh, part something else. I think I’m waiting for him to touch me, but he doesn’t, only clenches his fists at his side.

“And you’re the one…” I manage, defiant. “You’re the one who said we needed to be professional. You’re the one who said what happened was a mistake.”

“No,” he snaps. “You are. You said that.”

“And you agreed!” I feel on the edge of tears again.

His eyes bore into mine, and it feels like the ground tilts beneath me.

“We need to shut it all down. Whatever this is.” He gestures between the two of us with his hand. “It’s obviously not headed anywhere good.” Without another word he turns and leaves the room.

I stand frozen in front of the now-blank cinema screen and wonder why it feels like I’ve just lost something I never had.

Chapter 24 JACK

I think sitting in a hotel room being interviewed by an endless stream of journalists while pretending to be coy about my romantic relationship with Cynthie Taylor might be the death of me. Particularly when the woman in question cannot stop acting like a splinter burrowed under my skin.

“I’d love a sparkling water, thank you,” I say when Lorna’s assistant, Suzy, offers to grab me a drink. It’s hot in here, under the lights, being forced to spend hours sitting inches away from Cynthie and her bad temper.