Page 79 of A Game of Scandal

“As yesterday was less than two hours ago, that is hardly a convincing justification for coming in here acting like a bear with a sore head,” Sylla said, examining her fingernails.

Max glowered at her but, catching Izzy’s eye, he sighed again. “You’re right,” he said. “I apologize.” He came towards me, opened his arms, and I stepped into them, feeling the reassuring warmth of his hug. “I’m sorry for snapping, Felicity. I’ve missed you.”

I relaxed into his comforting embrace, then stiffened as I suddenly remembered the threats Laing had made against him.

“But wait.” I wrenched myself free, fear a sudden chill in my veins. “Did anyone see you come in? Did—”

Max laid a gentle hand on my arm. “Mrs Finch contacted me. I had my suspicions that I had been sent off chasing my tail, and so did she. When I heard from one of my men that there were people watching the house, I was careful.”

There was something cold and precise in his voice, something that made me suddenly aware that my big brother was a powerful, even dangerous presence. Strange that it hadn’t occurred to me before, despite knowing something about his work. I suppose that he was not the only one stuck in the patterns of our childhood relationship.

“So,” Max said, “it seems that Felicity knows everything and is in your confidence. And it’s clear that you have an investigation in the works. Is it something Her Majesty’s Government can assist with? Or will it be more help for me to lie low?”

Again, I was surprised. This wasn’t the attitude I expected from Max at all. Rather than riding in to fix everything, he seemed happy to defer to the group of women in front of him.

“Perhaps you can help.” Mrs Finch inclined her head in my direction. “But it’s Felicity’s story to tell.”

Max looked to me, and whatever he saw had a reluctant expression of amusement flitting across his face.

“I don’t know why I’m surprised.” He shook his head. “Wherever there’s trouble, my sister can be found standing in the middle of it.”

“I thought you’d be angry,” I admitted.

“I haven’t heard the story yet,” Max reminded me.

“Well, before I tell it, there are a couple of things I need to say.” I straightened in my seat. I wasn’t sure if this was the right moment to confront my brother, but I also knew that I couldn’t keep my feelings inside any more. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Sylla smile, but it could have been a panic-induced hallucination. My heart was hammering.

“I’m not going to get married,” I burst out, the words a rush. “I know it’s what you and Mother want, but it’s not for me.”

Max blinked, clearly surprised by this conversational turn.

“I understand you feel like that now,” he said after a moment. “But when you meet the right person…”

“I’ve met the right person,” I replied, and Max wasn’t the only one to start at that. Mrs Finch smiled down into her teacup. “And I’ve told him what I’m telling you now: I’m not going to marry. Not now, and possibly not ever. I want to go to university. To Cambridge. I want to travel and see the world. I-I think I want to teach other women mathematics. I want to be part of a change I believe in with my whole being. I’m not settling for anything less.”

I eyed my brother. I hoped he would understand, but even if he didn’t, I meant every word. I would make it happen, with or without him.

Max only looked at me, dazed. “I…” He paused. “Perhaps we should talk about this later.”

“We can,” I agreed, “and I’m sure we will, but it won’t change anything. I’m telling you this now because I can’t go one more moment without sharing it with you. You’re my brother and I love you, but this is my life. I think I deserve a say in what it looks like.”

“I had no idea you felt this strongly,” he said finally.

“Because I didn’t want to disappoint you or Mother,” I admitted. “I know that you both want to protect and provide for me, but the life of a society wife is not for me. I can’t stand it, Max.” My voice lowered. “Trying to fit in has made me deeply unhappy.”

It was these simple words that seemed to truly break through, and had my brother reaching across the table for my hand. “Felicity.” He squeezed my fingers. “The last thing I would ever want is for you to be unhappy. Whatever you want, we can work it out.” He glanced at Izzy and something passed between the two of them, some wordless, married-person conversation that had his mouth pulling into a rueful smile. “If my excellent wife has taught me anything, it’s that I can be a touch overbearing in my efforts to protect the people I love.”

I had to blink back tears, and when I looked at Izzy her expression was smug. It seemed I had underestimated my brother just as badly as he had underestimated me.

“If you really don’t want a season, then we’ll tackle Mother together,” Max added, though he looked a bit queasy at the words.

“Thank you,” I breathed, knowing that this in many ways would be the hardest part for both of us.

“I still think we need to have a conversation about this man who is not planning to marry you.” Max frowned, and I gave a watery laugh.

“Thrilling as that sounds, it will have to wait,” Sylla said.

“And as happy as I am that Max is going to accommodate your wishes, Felicity, I’m afraid your season isn’t over quite yet,” Mrs Finch added.