Page 28 of Under Your Spell

‘And is that something you think this job could lead to?’ Ingrid asks.

‘No?’ I say, like it’s a question, but then with more certainty I add, ‘I mean I suppose not. It’s sort of the opposite actually, being away from everything.’

‘Tell me more about the job.’

So I do; I explain how it would work, what I’d need to do, how it would be helping out Serena, who never asks for help, how it would solve my housing and financial problems, and as I talk I feel some of the anxiety slipping away. Somehow, laying it all out like this for Ingrid is helping me to see more clearly what a good thing this could be. It’s six weeks of my life, nowhere near the paparazzi or the parties or the crowds. And if there really is nothing between Theo and me – which there isn’t – then there shouldn’t be a problem. Annoyingly, this is exactly what he said last week. I guess it has just taken me longer to get there.

‘I’m going to do it,’ I say after a few more minutes of Ingrid’s gentle questions. ‘It’s a good opportunity for me.’

‘I agree,’ Ingrid nods, surprising me. She rarely ventures her own opinion. ‘I think this could be good for you in lots of ways. It will give you the space and time to think about what you want to do next, and perhaps now is a good time to revisit this place from your past and find some closure. I imagine it may bring up quite a lot of thoughts and feelings so I will be happy to continue our sessions online if that would help?’

And thanks to this job I’ll be able to pay for them, I think as Ingrid and I discuss setting up our next appointment in a couple of weeks. Just another reason this is a good idea. I’m not sure I love the idea of having a lot of thoughts and feelings brought up, but I leave her office feeling more optimistic than I have in a long time.

Pulling out my phone I dial Serena, whose calls I have been dodging.

‘I’m in!’ I exclaim when she picks up.

‘I should bloody hope so,’ my sister huffs. ‘I knew you’d spend the week dithering, but I’ve already told everyone you’re doing it and I’ve got a list of emails as long as my arm from Theo’s assistant that I’m forwarding you as we speak. He’s your problem now, go with God.’

And on that note she hangs up.

Ping! goes my phone.

Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping!

I experience a brief moment of panic as the phone keeps chiming with notification after notification.

I get back in my car and open up the first of the emails. It quickly becomes clear to me that David, Theo’s assistant, is having a major meltdown about leaving his side and I feel as if I will be pet-sitting someone’s beloved and extremely fussy little Pekinese.

One email simply says:

NO KIWI FRUIT

The majority of them read like bizarre, middle-class haikus.

YUZU KOMBUCHA

SHIPPING ONCE

FERMENTATION IS COMPLETE

Aside from an extensive amount of dietary requirements there’s also: a list of exercise equipment that’s being shipped to Northumberland (Where am I going to put it all? Perhaps David expects me to erect some sort of private gym with my bare hands?); an insane list of vitamin supplements and the times of day Theo is supposed to take them; information about transporting precious musical instruments, and all this is before he moves on to a series on Theo’s likes and dislikes beginning with films (the cryptic ‘NO NICOLAS CAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ with seventeen exclamation marks raises some questions for me) and TV series (‘HE FINDS GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF SOOTHING’.)

I’m not even halfway through the list when my phone flashes up with a call from an unknown number.

‘Hello?’ I answer.

‘Clementine?’ A slightly pissed-off, incredibly posh-sounding voice comes down the other end. ‘Clementine Monroe?’

‘Yes, that’s me.’

‘This is David, Mr Eliott’s assistant. Your sister passed on your number.’

I close my eyes and lean back, hitting the headrest with an audible thump. ‘Oh, David, hello. I was just making a start on your emails…’

‘Right, yes,’ David cuts in. ‘That’s good, I’m glad the lines of communication are open. I have to tell you, I am quite… concerned about this trip, and about making sure that Mr Eliott has the support he’s used to. In order for us to make the transition as seamless as possible I think it’s important that we cover all our bases. Perhaps we can organize a video call tomorrow so that I can talk you through the dossier I’m preparing?’

‘Right,’ I say weakly. ‘The dossier. I mean, of course. If you think it’s necessary.’