Page 25 of Under Your Spell

‘And you know my father,’ I groan. ‘Of course. This just gets better and better.’

‘Clemmie, you are the only person in the world who could pick up Theo Eliott and not know about it.’ Serena rubs her forehead. ‘This is what comes of being a cultural recluse.’

‘I’m not a recluse!’ I exclaim hotly. ‘I hardly think knowing or not knowing a guy who makes a living singing about Post Offices is an indicator of how culturally engaged a person is.’

‘Post Offices?’ Theo frowns.

‘She means coffee shops,’ Serena says. ‘Clemmie doesn’t acknowledge the existence of music made past 2003. It’s a whole thing.’

‘I’m not living on another planet,’ I break in, as Serena and I fall into the familiar argument. ‘Lots of people prefer audiobooks or podcasts or…’

‘Boring people. Elderly people,’ Serena snorts.

‘Podcasts are the fastest growing media format in the world!’ I hiss. ‘Michelle Obama has her own podcast, Serena. Michelle. Obama.’

‘I’m confused.’ Theo looks bewildered. ‘Why are we talking about Michelle Obama now?’

‘Well, this has thrown a fucking spanner in the works,’ Serena says, tapping her fingernails along the edge of the desk. She clearly recognizes the introduction of Michelle for the conversational checkmate that it is, and has therefore decided to pretend none of the argument ever happened. ‘The whole point of Clemmie going to Northumberland was supposed to be so there’d be no distractions.’

‘Clemmie is the babysitter you want to send with me?’ Theo’s face lights up. ‘Suddenly, I don’t hate the idea after all.’

‘Well, I do!’ I say firmly. ‘I’m not spending six weeks trapped in a house with you.’

‘Worried you won’t be able to keep your hands off me?’ Theo sighs lustily.

Now it’s my turn to sputter into my drink. ‘Absolutely not,’ I hiss. ‘I don’t want anything to do with you!’

‘Then I don’t really see the problem.’ Theo turns to my sister with a shrug.

‘Theo,’ Serena chides him. ‘This isn’t a game, and you’re in deep shit with me for upsetting Clemmie.’

‘Hey!’ Theo objects. ‘I’m the injured party here. I’m the one who got dumped with a three-line note while I was having a shower.’

‘You didn’t get dumped,’ I say stiffly, putting my empty glass down on top of a filing cabinet. ‘It was a casual thing, remember.’

‘And there was me thinking I was special.’ Theo straightens up, stepping towards me. My traitorous body reacts to his nearness, heat washing over me. ‘But now that we’ve found each other again,’ he continues in a softer voice, ‘are you going to let me buy you a drink?’

‘The drinks are free,’ I croak, staggering back like I’m trying to break away from some sort of sexy-rock-star tractor beam.

If flirting were a professional sport, then Theo Eliott would take home the gold. I realize, with a sinking feeling, that the chemistry I had with Edward – the chemistry that I thought meant we had a connection – is just something Theo has with everyone. He’s a flirt, a womanizer, and I fell for the whole act like an idiot. You’d think I’d know better.

‘You might as well stop that right now,’ Serena says to Theo, as if reading my mind. ‘I can absolutely guarantee that you’ll get nowhere with my sister. It doesn’t matter if you turn the charm up to eleven; she’d rather chew off her own foot than go out with a flirty rock star.’

Theo pulls back, a flash of surprise in his eyes. He glances at me.

I nod, cross my arms. Serena is completely right: whatever small fantasies I’d been quietly nurturing about running into Edward again are dead and buried in the face of the revelation that the man is actually Theo Eliott.

If Theo really is initially surprised by this, he shrugs it off almost instantly. When he speaks again his voice is soft, more serious than it has been. ‘Then there really shouldn’t be a problem with Clemmie taking the job.’

Serena starts to speak again, but Theo holds up his hand. ‘Can I have a word with Clemmie, alone?’

My sister eyes him narrowly. ‘Why?’

Theo’s poise slips a little, and he snaps, ‘For fuck’s sake, Serena, I’m not about to ravish her; I just want to talk in private.’

Serena’s eyes dart to me and I nod. ‘You should get back to your party,’ I say. ‘I can sort this out myself. People will be wondering where you are.’

She gets to her feet and pushes away from the desk. ‘Fine.’ She points a finger at Theo. ‘But you’d better be on your best behaviour, or I swear I will…’