Page 40 of A Snowfall of Silver

When we reach our digs, Russ doesn’t hesitate. He kisses me.

The kiss is very good. Then again one doesn’t expect a man like Russ to kiss badly. I lean into him, wrapping my arms around his neck. The kiss deepens. I feel again that sense that I am playing a part as I sigh, his hand cupping my cheek. And that that is all wrong – the point was to feel something so that I could act it later. I try to concentrate on the kissing, the breathing, the hands, but part of me feels like I’m not really there at all, like I’m watching a girl in a golden dress being kissed by a handsome man. Finally, I break away.

Russ stares at me, his breathing hard.

“Thank you for a wonderful evening,” I say, taking a step back.

There’s a beat. Something like disappointment flashes across his face, but it’s quickly replaced by the familiar, charming smile. “You’re very welcome.” He holds the door open for me. We kiss once more, briefly – it feels almost perfunctory at this point – on the landing, and then I slip through the door into my room.

Alma is asleep, but at the sound of my entrance she stirs.

“Well?” she says, lifting herself up on her elbows. “How was it? Did he sweep you away with talk of your radiant beauty?” She shifts into a perfect imitation of Russ’s smirk at the end of this, and I chuckle.

“It was nice,” I shrug.

“Not Romeo and Juliet?” Alma’s blue eyes are full of sleepy laughter.

“No,” I sigh, stepping out of the golden dress. “Not that.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

8th December

Dear Lou,

Told Russ I didn’t think things were going to work out between us romantically – fairly sure I just beat him to it, but he still managed to look crestfallen, which I thought was very nicely done of him. I despair, though, what does a girl have to do around here to be swept off her feet? It was all so perfect on paper, but when he kissed me I just felt rather flat and like I was pretending. Anyway, I worried it would be awkward, but if anything Russ is being nicer and more attentive than ever. Boys are strange.

Freya xx

10th December

Dear Midge,

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the saffron cake and the jam which was waiting at the theatre in Sheffield! I can’t believe you thought to send it there. It was such a lovely taste of home, and I could almost imagine I was there with you sitting around the kitchen table. Particularly as I was surrounded by noisy actors fighting over the last slice. (As if I would share the last slice with anyone, the fools!)

Still, you should know that your baking has garnered much praise, and Russ would like me to convey a proposal of marriage, should you find yourself at a loose end. I tried to tell him he could never “win the hand of the fair maiden” (as he put it) from Pa, but he insists his stage combat training would come in useful. Kit says to pass on his special thanks for the ginger biscuits – he was surprised I had told you they were his favourite, and even more surprised that you remembered. He was so pleased, Midge, his cheeks turned all pink.

All my love,

Freya xx

10th December

Dear Tom,

No, you absolutely cannot keep your newts in my wardrobe. My costumes are in there, and I don’t want you in there AT ALL. I don’t care if you have named one of the newts Rhys Cantwell, it is still an insult to my art.

Freya

13th December

Dear Lou,

The company runs like clockwork these days, moving from town to town. I barely know where I am, but I seem to always know where I’m going. The play continues to draw a big crowd. We were sold out in Leeds last night, and the audience were laughing themselves into the aisles. I can’t tell you how tired I am, or how happy. Every night is different, every performance a clean slate. It’s exhilarating.

Reasonable digs here, warm enough to leave off the thermals indoors at least! Alma swears she heard a ghost on the stairs last night, but I didn’t hear a sound, I was fast asleep. So upsetting to miss a possible spectre, but then I daresay it was just Russ sneaking another girl into his room.

That’s not true, actually, he’s been on his very best behaviour, and I can’t help suspecting he might be trying to win me around. I don’t know what to think about that, having very little experience in the matter. What was your first kiss with Robert like? Was it a bit flat?