Page 86 of Holding Hope

“Does she do it often? Sleep in here, I mean.” I moved from the bed and to the dresser where the pajamas were. Colton shrugged; he had taken off his hat so his brown curls sat on the top of his head in an unruly mess.

His hair wasn’t as curly as Clarke’s but it held a nice wave, as opposed to Melody’s bone straight hair. It was a similar color to his youngest sister, leaving Clarke and their father the only blondes of the family.

“More often than not,” was his simple reply. I nodded and reached for the clothes and bath salts; we walked down the hall and down the stairs in silence, but his hand on my shoulder stopped me before I reached the bottom step.

“I’m going to ask you something,” he began. “And I want you to answer as truthfully as you can.” Colton’s mouth was a thin line under his mustache and his brows covered much of his eyes.

I swallowed, feeling my stomach tighten and curl into a ball. “Okay.”

“What did you mean when you said Clarke needed to…release her anger?”

“Colton—“

“Just…answer, Avalon; she’s my sister and I’ve never seen her like that before.” He ran a hand over his face with a deep sigh. “She’s never been an affectionate or touchy person—there’s always a certain level of trust she needs to build with that person, but with you…”

I chewed on my lower lip, unsure how to tell Colton about this. He was right, Clarke was his sister but if she needed trust in order to allow this part of herself to be seen, him not knowing must mean he hadn’t earned that yet.

It felt deceitful to tell him; I had just gained Clarke’s trust myself and I was in no hurry to lose it.

“I’m sorry, Colton, but that’s something she’ll have to tell you herself.” I hoped the sincerity in my voice would make him drop the topic and just wait until she found a way to tell him or just understand that maybe it would never be his place or right to know. “I’m sorry,” I repeated before continuing down the stairs and into the bathroom.

He had to understand why I couldn’t tell him, even if he was her older brother or not. Clarke and I were finally heading in a positive direction despite the current circumstances; I wasn’t about to let anything jeopardize the progress we were making.

Pulling my phone from my back pocket, I quickly swiped to Jonas’ contact and hit call. I wasn’t at all surprised when he picked up on the second ring, despite the two hours difference between us.

“Avalon, what the hell?” His voice sounded sleepy like he had just been woken up. “Do you know what time it⁠—“

“I need you to find the best oncologist in the state and put them on a plane, I don’t care how much it costs.” I interrupted, my eyes glancing to Melody’s door; she had stopped crying but every once in a while I heard her sniffle or moan in pain.

“Okay, first—what the fuck is going on?” Now he sounded more awake and alert. “Aren’t oncologists…cancer doctors? You don’t⁠—“

“It’s not for me, I just need one here as soon as possible.” I tapped my foot anxiously. “It’s for Clarke’s kid sister; Jonas, it’s really bad out here and- and I feel helpless, like I’m just an added weight. I need to do something.”

I heard the sound of clicking keyboard keys and Jonas hummed in confirmation. “Avalon, deep breaths; I will find the best oncologist in the whole goddamn country and fly them out, okay? I take it Clarke isn’t handling this well, she’ll need someone there for her—even if she doesn’t want to admit it.”

God, I had so much to update him on but now was the least opportune moment; so instead, I thanked him and ended the call before finding my way back to the bathroom. Back to Clarke.

larke still had her back to the door when I entered the bathroom; after slipping out of my own somewhat damp clothes, I stepped into the water behind her.

Almost instantly, she settled into my body, leaning her back against my chest. Her hair was cold and tickled the end of my nose, but I didn’t mind. I couldn’t have cared less, honestly.

“You came back,” she said absentmindedly, running circles over my exposed knee.

“I said I would,” I replied and took one of the washcloths I had found upstairs. After squeezing some lavender scented body wash into it and lathering with water, I gently began scrubbing the other girl’s back.

I worked in silence, surprised that she hadn’t given me some smart retort of how she was capable of washing herself. It was more than likely due to the fact that she was down right exhausted, too weak to protest.

“Thank you,” she murmured quietly, turning around to face me. I paused my scrubbing, a floppy smile breaking across my face.

“I consider it an honor.”

“I hit you,” she frowned, blinking rapidly. “Several times, too many times.” Her eyes wandered from mine and down my face and neck, stopping at my shoulder. Reaching out, Clarke gently touched the area, her frown deepening as I winced.

“You’re hurt—I hurt you.” Clarke’s eyes snapped up to mine and her lip trembled, tears threatening to fall down her cheeks again. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking or-or doing⁠—“

I placed my hand over her wrist, pulling it back onto my bare skin. I liked the feeling of her touch, it was something I would choose over and over again.

“Clarke, it’s okay,” I told her through a half smile. “I wouldn’t have stood there if I wasn’t okay with it, alright? So don’t beat yourself up about it.”