Page 63 of The Little Porto Book Club

‘Marketing.’ Zephyr’s brow furrows. ‘Is he linked to Lucinda’s focus group then? Do they work together?’

‘Did you and Zephyr manage to find anything?’ Tiago asks old Albert.

Old Albert’s rheumy eyes light up. ‘We sure did. We found out Lucinda’s full name and where she lives.’

‘How did you do that?’ I gasp.

‘Old Albert charmed the woman from the queijaria next door into giving up the information. He played the part of a have-a-chat old man very well.’

Old Albert guffaws. ‘Have-a-chat old man? What! I was playing the part of charming, articulate, seasoned gentleman, thank you very much.’

‘Riiight. Anyway, we spent the evening eating our body weight in her artisanal cheeses and drinking port and soon she wouldn’t shut up. Doesn’t exactly love Lucinda, you see.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because she won’t modernise the pastelaria. Won’t help put the Rua dos Mercadores on the map. Wants to keep it quiet whereas the other businesses want to make the street more inviting, more vibrant, in the hopes tourists will flock there.’

‘I get that. Lucinda likes it peaceful, but it can’t be a healthy business. So, who is Lucinda? And who is her husband? Where do they live?’

‘Her name is Lucinda Neves. She lives on Rua da Arménia in Miragaia. And here’s the twist, as far as we can tell she’s not married.’

‘Wait. She’s not married?’ I say. ‘Then how can she kill her husband six different ways! This is an outrage.’

Zephyr shakes her head. ‘According to the woman from the queijaria Lucinda’s been in a long-term relationship for twenty or so years but isn’t married.’

‘They gave those private details out, just like that?’ I am impressed and horrified all at once.

‘No, old Albert fooled them again. We went to the Civil Registry offices when it was lunchtime, so hardly any staff were present. Old Albert made a huge song and dance pretending to have a fall, talked about suing them, how inept medical institutions are around the world, that kind of thing, and while the staff member helped him, I got into the computer. I’m Gen Z, it wasn’t exactly hard to navigate.’

Old Albert sighs. ‘Her life is a screen. It is what it is.’

I bite back a smile while I process this new information. ‘And you confirmed Lucinda has never been married, not at all.’ This doesn’t make any sense.

‘Confirmed. But you gotta admit, it’s quicker to write “Six ways to kill my husband” than “Six ways to kill my long-term significant other”, so maybe that’s all it was.’

‘It’s definitely catchier,’ Tiago confirms with short sharp nods.

‘Have you been to her house? What’s it like?’ My mind races with all the news.

Old Albert puckers his lips and strokes his jaw as he recalls it. ‘Unassuming. There’s not much green space for someone who said she enjoyed pottering around in her garden.’

‘It seems that Lucinda is quite the enigma. And no sign of her significant other there?’ I query.

Old Albert shakes his head. ‘None. The place looked a bit abandoned. Shuttered up.’

‘You’re dying to see it, aren’t you?’ Zephyr asks.

‘Positively.’

‘Book club trip!’

We huddle under a tree in front of Lucinda’s house. It’s not what I thought it would be. It’s not at all glamourous the way she is. For some reason I expected her home to be shiny glass, immaculate gardens, more opulent than it is. It’s just a regular villa in a regular neighbourhood. The garden is more of a small terrace with a few pot plants and a seating area. Not a hydrangea in sight. ‘Huh’, is all I manage.

‘Not fancy, is it?’ Zephyr says. ‘Makes sense though if the pastelaria isn’t making huge money.’

‘Yes.’ The outside of the villa is neat and tidy, definitely looks like the home of a homebody or someone who is house proud with the little touches like bunting lights and garden ornaments. The windows are shuttered so nothing to give us any clues there.

‘Did you knock on the door?’ I ask.