Page 23 of The Little Porto Book Club

Grinning at her phone over her step count tally.

Flushed complexion and buttons done up wrong.

Mother is suffering a clear case of burnout. She works a physical job in a laundry and obviously there’s the issue of finding out her adoring faithful husband was, in fact, neither adoring nor faithful. This sort of unravelling was always bound to happen.

Time to explode another bomb, a truth bomb this time.

‘I’d like you to know that despite your meddling, you’re an exceptional mother.’

At that her expression softens, the tightness behind her eyes falls away. ‘Well, thank you, Viviane. That’s kind of you to say.’

‘You’re welcome. Do you think perhaps you’re working too much? Taking too much on board?’ I point to her buttons.

‘Oh – I – ah.’

‘Mother, now is not the time for a song. Level with me. Are you planning on seeing someone?’

‘I’m not seeing anyone!’

I frown, why is she so vehement about this? ‘You always rave about the wonders of a good therapist.’

Hand on heart, she exhales a long breath. ‘Oh, see a therapist. Yes, I mean, no. I’m totally fine. I promise, darling. I’d let you know if I wasn’t, you know that.’

What did she think I meant? Dare I make things worse? ‘By the way, there was a naked man in a towel on the landing. I probably should file a police report about it.’

Her eyes widen. ‘No, no, don’t do that!’

I frown. ‘Men can’t swan around sans clothes, Mother. It’s depraved!’

‘He was probably in the pool!’ What pool? Our apartment complex is not exactly fancy, in fact, it’s the very opposite. ‘Anyway, how was book club, tell me every detail, every single thought that fluttered through your mind!’

‘Oh, Mum, we need to find you a hobby.’

‘Ha!’

‘I trust you used your reserves of willpower and managed to stay away from Pastelaria História despite being endlessly intrigued by this strange new turn in my life?’

My notebook of mysteries is crooning to me, but I can’t outwardly show this, or my bloodhound of a mother will get every detail out of me, and then there will be no stopping her, she will find Lucinda and demand answers. Effective yes, but possibly a step too far while the situation is still tenuous.

‘Used reserves I didn’t even know I had!’ A strangled chuckle escapes her, but I don’t have time to consider it because she launches into the next thing. ‘I met up with your aunty Lara and your cousin Catarina for coffee earlier, and they send their love.’

‘Is Catarina still holding that grudge against me?’

Mum grimaces. ‘Sim.’

‘Unbelievable. Honestly, her bitterness is very unbecoming.’ Cousins, eh?

Mum’s eyebrows knit, giving her a confuddled look. ‘You announced at her wedding that Catarina’s groom was “a desperate, attention-seeking narcissist with little to no intelligence”.’

Not this again. It was all the family talked about for months. ‘I stand by that. He is living proof that the cliché “love is blind” is alarmingly true. What does she see in the guy? I can’t think of one redeeming trait, and I tried. I really, really tried.’

Her lips wobble as if she’s going to laugh or cry, not sure which. ‘Look, I don’t think much of the guy either but dropping that … revelation at the beginning of their wedding ceremony might have been a step too far.’

I scoff. ‘The priest himself asked if anyone had any reason this couple shall not be joined in holy matrimony. Why ask if they don’t want the question to be answered?’ I’m still genuinely baffled by the alleged faux pas I made.

Mum waves my protestations off. ‘Just promise me you won’t say a word if you hear that question asked again at the next family wedding.’

‘Last I heard I wasn’t going to be invited to any more family weddings.’ A cause for celebration if there ever was one. If I’d known that all I had to do was give an honest account of the groom to get a lifetime ban, I’d have done that aeons ago.