Page 41 of Love Always

“You are so beautiful, Laurel,” he whispers in my ear as he starts to drag himself out of me and then thrusts deeply again.

Each time he starts to pull out with the purpose to drive himself home once more, my sex grips him, and his moans become ragged, uneven. His heartbeat throbs against my neck and his arms begin to shake. Wresting one arm free, I reach up and stroke a nipple, pinching it slightly with my fingernail. He arches his head back, his throat working, swallowing, his clavicles knitting together in such a perfect “V.”

Mateus is deep within me and I am in him. I reach around his ass to find his sac and stroke it. His testicles are high and hard. He pulls himself out and thrusts back in again, over and over, kissing my lips, my upper arms, my breasts. For the first time in my life, I’m not self-conscious.

I’m undone.

΅

I had managed to get out of bed and get a washcloth to clean us up. I didn’t want Mateus to have to do that. He lay on his back, eyes closed. His lashes were dark fans against his brown skin. His cock throbbed, glistening wet when I pulled the condom off, the head velvet smooth. He gasped as I wiped him up, being gentle around his balls.

Now, I walk back to the bathroom to use the little squirt bottle for such cleanup purposes and to pee.

I climb back into bed. He spoons me, his chest and stomach against my back and buttocks. His legs curve against mine. Slipping one arm around my waist he breathes into my hair, “Thank you, Laurel.”

Laurel. Not “sweetheart.” Not “honey,” not “babe.” Not any of those things. Just my name and my name matters. I’m not a construct—I’m a person. I start to weep.

I don’t know how many hours pass before I wake up. I hear Devon open my door.

“Hey,” she says and starts to come in. It takes her a second to realize I’m not alone. “Oh. Oh, sorry.” Then, just as quickly, she backs out.

Deftly removing his arm, I slide out, grab my robe and put it on. The light is on in the living space.

Devon glances at me and then whispers, “I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Because we both live with Cory, we whisper anytime past seven thirty. It comes naturally. She’s standing in front of the fridge peering around for leftovers. She is a shameless believer in the utility of leftovers, sometimes even after they go bad. She’ll eat anything.

“Who is that?” she said pointing at the bedroom door, and then in real time she realized … “Mateus?”

I am absolutely parched. He was right. I need to drink a lot of water. Running the tap, I glance at her, “Yeah, but not a word to anyone, please.”

“I don’t know. Is this going to be another Laurel secret?”

“No. It’s just … it was something really sweet and wonderful and I don’t want to make it more than it is. So, I don’t want a bunch of people knowing, that’s all.” I take a long drink and set down the empty water glass.

“Fair enough.” She pauses and then looks at me, her eyes wide. She takes both my hands. “I’m so sorry what happened yesterday. It must’ve been just awful, Laurel.”

Colleen’s face immediately swims in to view and the room tilts. Devon guides me to a chair.

“It was. It was awful. Did you hear the weapon, the gun, was found in the car?”

Putting her hand to her mouth, she gasps. It takes a lot to make Devon gasp. “What the fuck?”

“Yeah. Detective Carlson knows it’s not me. But he says it was planted there under the passenger seat.”

Devon’s eyes grow even wider. “That means, oh my God, that means the guy was there when you found the body.”

Swallowing, I look down at the floor. “Yes.”

“You’re telling Finn, right?”

“Mateus already told everybody everything.”

“Have you spoken with Claire and Chloe about this?”

I shake my head. “Not yet. All I could deal with was just getting home and not throwing up every hour.”

She changes the subject.

Devon doesn’t understand not everyone is like her, a fact that frustrates her. She and Claire are very similar in that they both take control and they’re both fearless in their own way, and they don’t appreciate that us mere mortals might have trouble dealing with crises. Claire becomes super-efficient, well organized, and focused on meeting responsibilities real and imagined. Devon’s powerhouse ways manifest in terms of physical prowess. She’s the one who bungee jumped off the bridge on her graduation night and nearly made Claire collapse with fear. Mom and Dad had been gone a year, Claire thought Devon was committing suicide. That’s the night Claire told Devon to leave, that she couldn’t take care of all of us with Devon doing crackpot stunts.