Page 25 of Stone’s Cage

I have to tell her this. Lily has to know. Lily has to know what my background is. She has to understand who I am. "Anyway, we ended up in foster care. My mom worked hard to keep us together in the system. And we were together until we weren't." My voice trails off, and I think I'm done.

"Not good enough," Lily says and touches my cheek. "Keep talking."

"I got nothing to say."

"I want to know what happened to you, Carson Stone."

There's something about the way she says my first and last name that kills me a little every time. It's like sugar coming from her.

"You sure you want all this?"

My answer is a swift kiss, invisible in the dark, her breath on my face, her lips softly pressed to mine, her breasts brushing against me, and then she's gone again, just lying next to me, holding my hand.

"I got into a shitload of trouble when I was eleven. I robbed a convenience store with two older members and the guy, the casher, had a heart attack."

"Oh God."

"He didn't die. But he came close to it. I got into all kinds of trouble. I got kicked out of the foster care and put into juvie for the fourth time, and that was it. Now I was in juvie. And my sister and I were separated, and no matter what my mom did, we could never get back together again."

For a long time, I watch the lights from outside shift determined shadows across the room every time a car passes by. Finally, she says, "Stone, I am so sorry."

"My sister's six years older than me. "

"Did she try to get you back?"

"When she emancipated, they said she was too young to manage me. She couldn't get to me. By then, we were living in different states. She had no money. I never saw her again."

Then comes the question I dreaded, the reason I didn’t want to have this discussion. "Can you see her now?"

"No. There's no way. She's not gonna want to see me."

"How do you know that?"

"I just know."

Lily drops my hand and slides it across my chest, laying her head on my shoulder. It seems like the most natural thing in the world to have her here, next to me, as I spill my guts. "She's a respectable person with a normal job. And she doesn't know she's got a cage fighting brother. No." I keep shaking my head.

"What does she do?"

I sigh. "According to my mom, Cassie's an elementary school teacher, working with disadvantaged youth. She took our background and used it for good. I just keep fighting."

"I still don’t see why you don’t contact her."

"Which one do you think is the better person? The better role model?" I feel her stiffen slightly with my question. I've framed it in such a way that there's only one answer: my sister.

There is no other way to answer, except, somehow, Lily does. "This is not about dichotomies. Love and family is not about right and wrong."

Dichotomies. Another one of those words again.

"I do send her money. Every time I get a payout, she gets some." I don’t add "most of it."

I can hear the question forming in Lily's mind…why? I can’t tell her the real reason.

"She must want to meet you then. She knows you care about her."

I shake my head. The last thing I want is for my sister to feel she owes me anything. "Cassie has no idea where the money comes from or who sends it. It has to be that way. I'm the reason we couldn't live together. I'm the reason she lost her family."

Lily goes on. "This is not about one person, right, one person, wrong. You're both examples. Look what you've done for me. You have honor and integrity and you live in a world where there's very little of each. You're an amazing role model. You should feel good about the things you've done."