Page 34 of The Best Ex of My Life

I texted Teddy to ask her about the weekend as soon as I got back from the supermarket. She sent me a long message apologising for not mentioning it, saying she presumed Elliot would have told me, before going on to swoon at how perfect the weekend was. Elliot’s family had been so relaxed and warm compared to how competitive and tense her own are.

After such a glowing report, I’m keen to see them together and work out how serious this is getting.

I’m discreetly studying their body language when Jordan comes out of the kitchen, and we all turn to him.

‘Hello, everyone,’ he says, and I watch as Teddy turns to him, a mega-watt smile appearing on her face milliseconds after weighing him up.

‘So great to meet you, Jordan,’ she says, embracing him and planting a friendly kiss on his cheek before leading him off to the lounge. Jordan turns back and after smiling at me, his eyes go to Elliot, who is busy taking off his shoes. He hesitates, but Teddy calls his name and I give him a thumbs up before turning back to El.

There are endless, stupid comments we could make to each other at this moment to mirror the warm greeting that’s just taken place between Teddy and Jordan. You must be Teddy’s date? Elliot, is it? How lovely to meet you … I’m a little proud of us both that we simply say hello before Elliot walks past me straight into the lounge to shake Jordan’s hand before making a beeline to where Bud is lying on the couch. He gives Bud a stroke in his favourite spot behind his ears before taking off his coat to reveal a dark grey fitted T-shirt that clings to his toned body.

‘Wow,’ Teddy says, taking her eyes off Jordan to admire Elliot’s muscles.

I didn’t think Elliot particularly cared about fitness, thought his regime of bacon butties on a Friday and the odd run here and there was aligned to mine. But turns out there’s another thing about Elliot that’s caught me by surprise. Seeing him looking this good gives me a strange, unwelcome feeling I should definitely never have around him.

‘You look incredible,’ Teddy continues, moving from Jordan’s side towards him. ‘Why haven’t I seen you in this before and why aren’t you wearing it every day of your life?’

Elliot’s cheeks redden, and I don’t blame him.

‘It’s new. A last minute buy this morning. I wasn’t sure it suited me.’

‘Oh no, it does. It was a great choice. Tell him, Lizzie!’

Now it’s time for my cheeks to burst into flames. ‘Yeah, the colour, it’s er, very nice,’ I manage to get out.

Teddy laughs. ‘That’s an understatement.’

After a few more seconds gawping at Elliot, she seems to remember that she was mid-conversation with Jordan and moves back to him. Jordan shoots me a curious look before he turns back to Teddy and asks her to repeat her question.

Elliot and I stand frozen in the topic she’s started and then left. I turn back to him, hoping he’ll make a joke or something to make it feel less awkward. I find him already looking at me, and after a few beats he turns away, focusing all his attention on stroking Bud’s ginger fur so intently that the cat begins to purr, his cheeks still flaming as he does.

‘Drinks. I’ll get drinks,’ I declare in a loud voice before making my escape.

The doorbell rings again before I make it to the kitchen. Teddy goes to answer it and lets Matthew and Karina in. I say a quick hello, instantly warming to Matthew who has his arm around Karina and gives me the warmest, most generous smile. It reaches all the way up to his eyes, which are surrounded by little crinkles in his skin. I leave them to it while I finish off the drinks. By the time I’m done and have dug around in the back of a cupboard to pull out a tatty tray covered in a duck pattern, I can hear laughter coming from the lounge. This is going to be fine, I tell myself and go to join them.

Once everyone has rushed towards me to take a drink, we congregate in the middle of the lounge, forming a circle and take self-conscious sips of the overly sweet mixture. If Teddy were here on her own, she’d have her feet up on my couch by now. If it was just me and Karina, she’d have picked Bud up and settled him on her lap. But it’s Teddy and Elliot, Karina and Matthew, me and Jordan tonight. Apparently triple dating doesn’t allow for such comforts.

Everyone shifts uncomfortably. No one speaks. The laughter from moments before has disappeared and it’s horrendous. It’s only now – right now in the middle of it – that it becomes clear how right my initial feelings were about how painful being forced into close proximity with your ex for the evening while dating a new person would be. Karina can’t look up from her lap. Jordan can’t keep his eyes from darting to Elliot every few seconds, despite how tightly he’s holding my hand. Matthew looks like he wants the ground to swallow him up. Teddy is pretending to be totally fine with seeing Matthew again, but she’s already necked her drink and keeps looking down at it, incredulous there’s none left. I’d like to say Elliot and I are the only two who aren’t affected by the atmosphere of intense awkwardness that’s descended on us, but it feels weird between us too. It’s like I’m watching the scene on TV, thinking to myself fuck their lives.

‘Well, this is … painful,’ Teddy says before laughing. ‘We’re going to need a hell of a lot more to drink than this, Lizzie, to get us through the night.’

‘Cheers to that,’ Matthew says. He and Teddy smile at each other and hold up their glasses. Karina, seeing the exchange, seems to shrink with all the air she’s let out of her lungs and becomes visibly more relaxed. She allows herself to look mine and Jordan’s way for the first time all night.

‘Cheers,’ Jordan says next to me. I don’t look up at his face, but I can tell the cheers is directed at Karina.

‘Cheers,’ she says back.

The atmosphere becomes slightly less stifled, but Teddy’s still right about the alcohol. We’re going to need a hell of a lot more of it to get through the night. I let go of Jordan’s hand and go back to the kitchen to make the next round of drinks.

I head straight to the bottle of sherry I bought for putting in the cream and take a swig, the liquid pleasantly burning my throat as I do. I’m just about to take another medicinal sip when the door opens, and I guiltily put the bottle down like I’m a teenager caught by my parents on Christmas day.

‘What’s going on here?’ Elliot asks, an amused smile on his face. ‘You’ve resorted to secret kitchen drinking already?’

‘There’s no secret about it. I’m having a drink in my kitchen, if that’s OK with you.’

‘Straight from the bottle,’ he points out. ‘Things aren’t that bad, are they? I thought everything went pretty well in there, given the group you’ve got. That said, I wouldn’t turn down a secret kitchen drink myself.’

He holds his hand out, and I give him the bottle. I watch as he tips his head back, swallows, and tries not to scrunch his face up afterwards. Now, I think. I should ask him now what’s going on with Teddy.