Page 25 of The Best Ex of My Life

‘Did you come here as a kid?’ he asks.

‘No, not really. My mum loathes coming into the city centre and Dad wasn’t around much at the weekend to take me. He played a lot of sport and wasn’t a big fan of family trips out anyway.’

‘I’m sorry. Is he not with you anymore?’

‘Oh no, I didn’t mean that. God, sorry,’ I say, hearing how it sounded. ‘He is. He lives near Preston with his wife. I guess I kind of speak about him like that, have done since Mum and him divorced. They don’t get on at all now, and I don’t see much of him, in truth.’

We haven’t been walking for more than a few minutes, but it suddenly feels like we’ve come a long way from the light and frothy fun we were having back in the bar. I’d like to get back to it. I’m wracking my brain for some sort of joke when the heavens open, and all I can focus on is the freezing rain soaking us. Jordan unlinks himself from me and grabs my hand, drawing me towards the side of the building where the stone juts out above our heads slightly, offering some shelter.

‘Shit, that’s cold,’ I say.

‘Yeah, I’m kind of wishing I never mentioned leaving the bar.’

‘Me too.’ I turn away from him to look at the rain that is falling in sheets in front of us, but when I turn back to Jordan, I see his attention is directed elsewhere.

I follow his gaze down to my chest.

‘Oh my God.’

In the downpour, my satin dress has become almost completely transparent and is clinging to my boobs. My nipples are on clear display. As quickly as I can, I wrap my coat around me, but I can’t do anything about the eyeful Jordan’s just got. I wait for the comment that’s going to come, the comment he has to make, because he’s just seen my boobs and there’s no moving the conversation away from that. I’m gearing up for anything ranging from nice tits to Jesus, Lizzie, you could take my eye out with one of them, but he goes for a different option.

‘I didn’t see a thing.’

I burst out laughing at the blatant lie. ‘I’m certain you did.’

‘Nope, nothing.’

‘Yes, you did, and I can only apologise,’ I say, but laughing about it has definitely taken the sting out of my mortification.

‘No need to apologise. You do know you’re gorgeous, don’t you?’

I laugh again. ‘That’s not how I’d describe myself. I’d probably go for complete prat or utter idiot for wearing a dress like this in winter.’

‘You are. You’re beautiful.’ His voice is suddenly soft, barely above a whisper. He steps forward to wrap his arms around me and leans his face down towards mine.

I’m cold and embarrassed and not sure flashing Jordan is the lead up to our first kiss I wanted, but I push all that down. Everything has become still. The only sound is the rain falling around us. His arms hold me tightly, and his brown eyes look almost black with only the streetlights to see by. This moment has appeared, this slow-motion-end-of-the-romantic-film moment, and as someone who goes through life looking for these moments, I know how rare they are, how you should never let them pass. I stand on my tiptoes and tilt my head until my lips meet his.

Chapter 11

‘You haven’t told us whether he’s a good kisser yet,’ Teddy points out the next night. We’re sitting round Karina’s kitchen table after I’ve finished giving her and Karina all the details about the lead up to my first kiss with Jordan.

Before I answer, I steal a look at Karina, who is pressing her lips together, her face as impassive as I’ve ever seen it. Karina knows all about kissing Jordan and more besides from when they dated. She’s going to have opinions on that question. Her own answer to it is there, behind those clamped shut lips. I pause before giving my own verdict of Jordan’s kissing technique, too busy wondering if she found him a good kisser, if he did the same tucking-her-hair-behind-her-ears move he did on me when we pulled away before gazing into my eyes.

In all my planning, I hadn’t thought about this bit. It’s going to be natural to compare every part of our relationships. What if Karina declares Jordan the worst kisser ever? Is that going to take away from the kiss we shared? Am I going to start questioning how I feel about Jordan based on Karina’s judgements?

‘Oh no,’ Teddy says, watching us. ‘This is where it gets weird, isn’t it?’

‘What do you mean?’ Karina asks.

‘Well now you and Lizzie have snogged the same guy, and I’m guessing soon you’ll have slept with the same guy. We’re all heading that way by the sounds of it. We’ll be able to swap notes.’

Karina scrunches up her nose. ‘Let’s make a vow right now that we won’t do that. No offence, Ted, but I think it’s better all round if I don’t compare the details of what Matthew did or didn’t do with you to what we do when we were together. It would seriously freak me out.’

‘OK,’ Teddy agrees, ‘but you do realise we’ll never be able to stop them from comparing us in their heads.’

‘That’s true,’ Karina says. ‘But everyone compares their own exes to each other, it’s only natural to weigh those things up, so I can live with that. Besides I’m excellent in bed, so I’m not too worried.’

She says it as a joke, but judging by the amount of smitten men she leaves in her wake, I completely believe her. There was no point on our date that I felt Jordan weighing me up against Karina. I just hope the same is true if we end up sleeping together. The thought of Karina being in Jordan’s head while he’s with me in that way is too weird to contemplate.