Page 20 of The Best Ex of My Life

She comes towards me and pulls me into a hug before letting go and pulling the hair from behind my ears. ‘You look tired.’

‘Not really,’ I lie.

‘Another date was it?’ she asks. It’s been years since I brought someone to Mum’s house with me, and I rarely let her know about the men I go out with unless weeks with them spill into months, but she’s like a bloodhound when it comes to sniffing out dates, especially the bad ones. She can always tell when I’ve been on one when I arrive at hers on Sunday afternoon, no matter how hard I try to hide my disappointment and grumpiness from her.

I must be giving out bad date vibes today, but that’s wrong. Jordan was lovely. I don’t want to let these temporary weird feelings about Elliot and Teddy’s first date leak into how I feel about my date with Jordan.

I give her a big smile, hoping it reaches all the way to my eyes like it should. ‘Yeah. A good one.’

She makes a sceptical mmmm sound and shakes her head as she leans across me to get two wine glasses from the cupboard I’m standing next to.

‘I don’t know how you do it, Lizzie. If I was you, I’d be completely battle weary by all this online dating now. Don’t they all blend into one another after a while?’

Mum not putting herself out there to find love is a decision of hers I respect. She met Dad when she was eighteen, as soon as she started university. For the first year, he lived on the floor below her in halls of residence, and after that they house shared until graduation. It was only when they went back to their family homes to start their careers – Mum as an accountant, Dad working in IT – they realised they had something on their hands that was more than friendship and Dad moved to Manchester so they could start a life together. Mum must have trusted completely in their relationship, and it didn’t work. She must have thought she knew Dad entirely, but somewhere along the way they lost each other and saw versions of each other they no longer liked. I get it. She’s been hurt and she doesn’t want to go through the rigmarole of falling in love only for it to happen again.

It’s not like she’s ever told me I should follow in her footsteps or anything like that, but she certainly disapproves of the effort I’m putting into meeting someone, and whenever that disapproval ekes out, I get an odd urge to gallantly defend the men I’ve gone out with even if they were complete idiots. I don’t want to believe there aren’t any decent men out there, and I don’t want Mum to believe it either.

‘No, they really don’t. Besides, Jordan wasn’t someone I met online. I was set up with him by Karina. She thought we’d get on well, and we did.’

Mum, who considers Karina one of the most polite, charming people on earth ever since she first came to the house when she was sixteen and complimented Mum on her excellent cooking, changes her expression at that and nods in approval.

‘Well, that’s something, I suppose. Glad you had a nice night, love. You know, you must invite the girls round soon. It’s been ages since I’ve seen them.’

‘Yeah, I will.’

She pours us both a glass of wine and orders me to put my feet up and watch some TV in the lounge while she finishes off. I do as I’m told, but before I turn on the TV, I get out my phone.

Mum was right. It is something to have been set up with Jordan. It is something that last night was great. I’ve been putting off texting him all day, playing the usual guessing game of when the perfect time is to get in touch, but I decide I don’t care. I want to text him, want to sit with my phone next to me pretending to be following the programme I’m watching rather than waiting anxiously for a reply. It doesn’t matter that I’m regretting bringing Elliot into this, that I want to put him back into his box as my work friend. It doesn’t matter that Jordan wasn’t Karina’s best ex. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t wake up this morning as full of excitement as some of my past dates have made me feel. Look how they turned out. I want to focus on making this set-up work, so I bring up our messages and start typing.

LIZZIE: Thanks so much for last night. Would love to get to know you more. Are you free next week?

Mum calls me for tea, and I reluctantly leave my phone in the lounge. Forty-five minutes and two portions of a lasagne smashing its way into the top five worst meals Mum has ever made, I’m able to return to it when Mum insists on filling the dishwasher herself and puts me in charge of finding us a film to watch on Netflix.

I’ve two messages waiting for me, which I read in quick succession. I’m not sure which makes me smile more.

JORDAN: Had a great time last night. Karina did a great job setting us up together. Am definitely free next week!

KARINA: What were you thinking, Teddy? I cannot understand what possessed you to break up with Matthew. I’ve just had the single best date of my life. He’s amazing. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

Chapter 9

We spend the rest of Sunday evening waiting for Karina to come down from the high of her date with Matthew and find the flaws as she always does. As we exchange text after text, asking her about the date and as she fills us in on the details, I wait for the buts. Unbelievably, none come, and Karina insists Matthew was a perfect date. I read her messages with a huge grin on my face. This must be the first time since Karina was eighteen and had her heart broken by someone she thought was ‘so’ perfect that she’s given someone such a warm review with no caveats included.

Much as I forced this plan on Karina and Teddy, and told them it was exactly what we needed, I’m not sure even I believed it would work out quite as well as it has. One date down and all three of us are lined up for second dates with men we actually like.

I’m swept into Monday on a tide of enthusiasm and smugness, and my day is made better when Elliot texts to let me know Mr Montgomery, our head, has called an urgent staff meeting before school begins, and I have to drop everything. I’ve only ever worked in one school, so I’ve no comparison, but I don’t imagine most teachers would be all that delighted by that news. Then again, most schools aren’t spearheaded by Mr Montgomery.

‘We need to get our ducks on the same page here,’ he tells his staff once we’re assembled. It seems he’s opened his inbox to a slew of parental complaints about the state of our discipline system. Some teachers are issuing detentions for offences such as forgetting a pen, whilst others don’t deem them necessary even after they’ve broken up a fight. He stands in front of us with his hands on his hips and his lips pinched like he always does when trying to exude authority, only the effect is slightly lessened by his Wallace and Gromit tie. As always, I cover my mouth with my hand so he doesn’t see me trying not to laugh. ‘Let’s tighten up this ship, crew mates,’ he says, before dismissing us with a wave of his hand.

Elliot is squeezed into the overcrowded staffroom by the door. He tries to remove the smirk on his face and act like he’s reading the notice board with great interest as Mr Montgomery passes him. After he’s left, Elliot turns to face me and we smile widely at each other before I wave him over to where I’m sitting with our department.

‘Come on now, tighten up your ship, Mr Drake,’ I whisper when he sits next to me.

His eyes sparkle with amusement. ‘Very well, Miss Cook. While I’m working on my loose ship, do make sure you gather those ducks on the right page. They’re all over the place. Lizzie, are you planning on leaving the staffroom today?’ he asks, noticing the drink in my hand, my shoes on the floor and my feet curled up under me.

‘Not if I can help it. I’ve got a student teacher taking my form and my first lesson today, so I get to stay here.’

‘Lucky you.’