Page 445 of Call Me Baby 2: Side B

his knee bouncing under his folded arms, prey to my sharp tongue should the knives come out.

But I still can’t speak.

Can’t even move.

“So hearin’ about your stepdad?” he continues. “It hit me like a ton of bricks. Like, I knew about CEO Raymond. I knew he fucked with your head and was usin’ you. Maybe takin’ advantage of you at the label. And yeah, maybe takin' advantage of you sexually. And I knew you had a stepdad. But I didn’t fuckin’ know he was your stepdad. ‘Cause that means—what? Shit’s been goin’ on since Corey died? Sixteen?”

He scans my blank face,

checking for confirmation,

checking for the damage it’s caused.

But I know there’s nothing there.

When the pain’s gone so nuclear for so long, not even tears bother showing up anymore.

“Allison, I shoulda asked you more. Thought you’d tell me when you were ready. But you never did. Not once…”

He rubs a palm over his mouth.

“Now I’m lookin’ at myself thinkin’—fuck, am I the monster? I did the same shit to girls.” He lays his head back into my stomach. “For ten years, I'm walkin' around makin' people feel better through sex, same way he did to you.”

He stares up at the ceiling, jaw tight.

“Now I know, followin’ our contract? It’s only hurtin’ you. I’m feedin’ your addiction same way he is. Just like that motherfucker. I’m no better for it.”

A few beats pass in the silence.

Then my hand is on his face,

my knuckles brushing his cheek,

wishing to wipe that thought away.

“Andrew, no. You’re nothin’ like him,” I say, voice raw. “Don’t even put yourself in the same box as him.” His eyes slide to me, drenched in guilt. “Yeah. Well, tellin’ you right now, we ain’t goin’ back.” His head moves slow from side to side. “I’m done with the contract bullshit, Allison.”

My heart starts hammering,

hard, panicking.

Fear boils up fast behind it,

switchblade in hand,

threatening to slit his throat,

make him regret those words,

suck them back in.

My fingers tremble against his face.

I pull them back too,

slipping them under the covers.

“Okay. So you’re done.