Page 75 of Tainted Love

“No. It was peaceful,” she says with appreciation in her voice. “Michael was with her. He flew in from Vancouver when the nurse was concerned about her vital signs. Ida didn’t want to be transferred to the hospital, so she stayed there in her room, where she was comfortable.”

“He was there?” I reply, and I don’t know whether that’s good or bad.

“He was. They had some pastries this morning, she fell asleep with him holding her hand, and she never woke up. It was as good of a death as anyone can ask for.”

A full-body sob wrecks my body. I saw Ida at Christmas, and she was working on a scarf for me. No matter what happened with her grandson, she and I remained close. She was my friend. And she’s gone. I cry for the loss of her in this world, the loss of her in my life, but mostly the loss for Michael. He must be heartbroken. The last bit of family he had is gone.

My voice cracks as I ask my mom, “How do you know? Did he call you?”

“He stopped by the house earlier,” she says softly. “He looked worn down and agreed to let us help plan a memorial, but not until after the season is over when the ground thaws.”

A lump forms in my throat as I say, “I have to come home. I need to see him.”

“I’m sure he will appreciate that. He’s staying with Landry right now.”

“Okay, Mom. I’m going to call Jerry and tell him I can’t do my presentation tomorrow. I’m sure he will understand.”

“Of course,” she says softly. “Call us with your flight details, and we will pick you up from the airport.”

I sigh and look at the clock. “I won’t be able to catch a flight until tomorrow morning.”

“We will see you soon, Bug,” my mom replies.

“I love you, Mom.” I feel compelled to tell her that right in this moment.

“I love you, too, baby.”

I hang up, call the airport, and get booked on a flight home in the morning that will stretch my credit card to its limit. I don’t care, though. My singular focus is getting to Michael.

Next, I call Jerry.

“Take your time,” Jerry replies. “We’ll be ready whenever you are to present the campaign.”

Feeling grateful for his flexibility, I quickly throw my clothes into my suitcase and then proceed to pace back and forth, trying to calm my nerves.

As the night drags on, my anxiety increases. My cab will arrive at 5 am, so I decide to try and get some sleep. But whenever I close my eyes, images of Michael being alone flooded my mind.

Restless and unable to sleep, I leave for the airport a few hours earlier than planned. My heart races with nervous energy as I navigate through check-in and get my ticket in hand. The dull hum of strangers’ conversations fills the air, but my mind is elsewhere. I sit and flip through a magazine, not really comprehending the words on the pages.

Finally, they announce my flight’s boarding process at 6:30, and a surge of adrenaline rushes through me. As I make my way onto the plane, I try to calm myself down and keep my emotions in check.

For the next three hours, I struggle to hold back tears as memories flood my mind. But as soon as I see my parents waiting for me at the gate, all pretense fades away, and I break down in their embrace. Tears stream down my face as they hold me tight.

After a few moments of comforting silence, I manage to choke out the words, “Take me to Landry’s.”

Chapter 33

“Black”

Taz - Age 24, 1994

Istand alone at the edge of a grave, staring at the weathered stone and empty vase where bright flowers should be.

The wind tugs at my hair, teasing it in all directions as I contemplate my grandmother’s final resting place.

This isn’t Gram’s site, but this is the place near where she will be buried come spring. She had meticulously planned every detail, leaving me with little to do except wait for Sascha’s parents to assist me when the time came.

The sky above is a dull gray, matching the somber mood of this solitary moment. Despite knowing that my grandmother’s death was inevitable due to her age and the onset of dementia, the stark reality of her absence on this Earth is crushing me with each passing moment.