Page 77 of Strange Love

“Only You”

Ivy - Age 23, 1994

Istare at the decision before me, and I can’t help but think that this might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. The weight of it settles on my shoulders like a heavy cloak, suffocating and overwhelming.

It’s been weeks since I last saw Corey and he poured his heart out to me and I couldn’t find the words to respond. His parting words, “I will always love you,” took up residence in my broken heart and sat sharp and heavy. I pretended I had not heard him. I pretended to be asleep to avoid responsibility for being the caretaker of his heart in the face of him leaving again. It left me paralyzed to lay bare my own.

He left.

I tried to justify it repeatedly, but I was met with nothing but regret. How could I have let him walk away from me again? How could I have been so blind to what was right before me?

Right person. Right time. Finally.

I remember how sure he was of himself and his future when we were younger, and I, still lost and unsure of who I was supposed to be, couldn’t keep up with him. He had dreams and goals, while I was content just being with him. I knew it was for the best when he left our small town. But he took a piece of me with him when he left.

I understand now what Corey always knew; he was meant for more than our small town could offer. And now, as I face this crossroads in my life, I’m meant for those same things too.

I didn't tell him about the book. He doesn't know how his quiet strength inspired me to break free of my captive chains and tell my story. He doesn't know that because of him, I'm not scared anymore. He doesn't know how I turned those rambling journal entries of a young girl into something that will inspire people.

He doesn't know what he means to me, even from the distance we've lived the past five years.

I no longer need Corey to make me who I am; I’ve grown and discovered myself over these past years without him. I needed to do that. But there’s no denying that a part of me will always belong to him. And now, as I hold onto that conviction with a newfound strength, I know what I must do.

My mind has been filled with the clichés of romantic movies for years, and I've decided it's time to make a grand gesture. It's time to stand outside his window with my boombox held high over my head and declare my undying love.

So yes, aside from risking my life to break out of a human-trafficking cult, this may be the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. But for the first time in a long time, it also feels like the bravest and most right thing I could do. Loving Corey has always been the easiest thing for me, and I no longer let my fears stand in the way.

In the past few days, I have declared to everyone I love that I am following my heart, and in doing so, I quit my job, packed a bag, and drove straight to the airport.

With a pounding heart and trembling hands, I nervously board the plane to take me to Boston. The roar of the engines and the slight jolt as we take off fills me with fear and excitement. As we soar through the clouds, I can't help but imagine Corey’s reaction when I show up unannounced. Will he be happy? Surprised? Angry? The possibilities race through my mind like a rollercoaster ride, adding to the thrill of my first-ever plane trip. My hands grip my complimentary ginger ale like a vice, afraid it will spill from the tremors racking my body.

Finally, after an eternity, we land in Boston, a new city filled with unknown adventures and possibilities awaiting me.

From there, I head to the arena where Corey has spent the past few years becoming one of the top centers in collegiate hockey.

Today is media day for Corey’s announcement about joining Edmonton, and I refuse to miss it. Nothing will keep me from being by his side. Even if he no longer wants me, I will settle for his friendship.

As a hopeless romantic who admittedly has watched far too many 80s movies, I step out of the cab wearing a pair of jeans and Corey’s old Mavericks hockey jersey. It's been sitting in my closet for years, and despite the tears I shed while wearing it to bed on countless nights, I could never bring myself to get rid of it.

My heart pounds in my chest as I walk through the double doors of the arena. Security greets me with curious eyes and asks why I'm here. When I tell them my purpose, they direct me with kind smiles to where I need to go. My palms are slick with sweat as I made my way towards Corey.

With trembling legs, I make my way into the bustling arena, the sound of skates carve through the ice and chatter fills the air. The stands are packed with people, their eyes fixed on the shining ice. At its center stands Corey, his tall figure clad in a sleek orange and blue hockey jersey, flanked by two men I assume to be his coaches. Beside them is Coach Dupree from the Mavericks, smiling ear to ear.

Cameras flash, and reporters eagerly interview those surrounding Corey, praising his skills and expressing excitement for his addition to their team’s roster. Amidst the commotion, I find a seat and take it all in with wide eyes, my nerves momentarily forgotten.

I know there's a possibility he may ask me to leave or reject me altogether. Still, in this moment, I'm so grateful to witness this incredible milestone in his career. No matter what happens next, I will cherish this memory forever.

Corey - 1994

My gaze sweeps over the crowded arena, taking in the sea of familiar faces. The team members are scattered throughout the stands, along with a few trainers and individuals associated with the team. I spot my mom and Alan sitting near the top, her eyes brimming with tears that she tries to hold back. She didn’t want to sit too close to draw attention away from me.

My search comes to an abrupt halt when my eyes land on the one person I had been hoping to see all day but never thought I would—Ivy. She looks stunning in my Mavericks jersey, her smile radiating love and support. It surprises me that she’s here without me asking. I won’t lie. I hoped she’d come. I hoped she’d realize our connection had never left after we spent the night together.

Since I saw her, I haven’t been able to get her out of my head. Not that I ever could. The ache in my chest that I used to ignore was filled when I was with her again. Now that she’s here, I won’t let her leave.

As soon as the media attention disperses and people start to scatter, I make my way through the crowd and up to the stands where Ivy waits for me. As soon as her arms wrap around me, I spin her in a circle, unable to contain my happiness. Placing her back on solid ground, I press my lips to hers.

“You’re here!” I exclaim, my heart fluttering with excitement. “I can’t believe you’re actually here.”