Page 70 of Aperture

And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast

I’m never going back, the past is in the past

LET IT GO, LET IT GO

When I’ll rise like the break of dawn

LET IT GO, LET IT GO

THAT PERFECT GIRL IS GONE

Here I stand in the light of day

Let the storm rage on

The cold never bothered me anyway”

I hit repeat again. And again. And again.

My dog is terrified. I think he’d call 911 if he could. ThenWyatt would show up.

I play the song again.

By this point I’m exhausted from trying to sing a song that should only be attempted by a Broadway star, and I sit in the kitchen and laugh and cry at the same time. Milo comes up and puts his head in my lap now that I’m no longer scream-singing like a lunatic.

I don’t know how long we sit on the cold, kitchen floor but when I try to stand up later my limbs are heavy and my back is killing me. I drag myself into the bathroom to take a nice, long bath and then crawl into bed. Tomorrow the statute of limitations for feeling sorry for myself runs out, and I need to face the world, including Theo.

◆◆◆

Theo: I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m worried.

Theo: I am back in town early.

Theo: Millie, call me back.

Theo: I’m coming over.

I wake up after a mostly sleepless night and read the text messages from Theo. Back in town early, huh? He probably never even left.

With a heavy heart and even heavier limbs, I get dressed and make myself a cup of coffee, but before I can even take a sip there’s a loud pounding at my door.

Milo barks nervously so I shush him, take a deep breath and open the door. Theo rushes in, enveloping me in a hug but I keep my arms tight to my body. Theo notices and drops his arms as I take a step back from him.

“Millie, what is going on?” he asks, with a panicked look on his face.

“You tell me,” I reply coldly.

“What does that mean? What’s been going on? Why have you been avoiding me?”

“Well, ever since I saw you finger some woman in a seedy nightclub, I just haven’t felt like talking to you is high on my priority list. I’m funny that way.”

Theo has the audacity to look offended.

“What did you just say?” he asks.

“You heard me,” I tell him matter of factly.

“Millie, I don’t know what someone told you but...”