Page 87 of Reckless Love

“Do you need help?” Jenny asks.

“No,” I say, offering a faltering smile. “Just realizing Stephen might have been right about my energy level.”

“Do you want me to tell Nancy to go?” Jenny asks, concern etched in her brow.

“No,” I say. “I’ll walk you out. It’s important that I see Nancy today.”

At the door, the two women greet each other, and then I lead Nancy through to the kitchen. I take a seat almost immediately, and Nancy pulls out her laptop next to me, opening a new note.

“I don’t want to tell you that you look terrible, but…” Nancy examines my face, which is likely pale.

“Yeah,” I agree. “I’m going to make this quick, but I want to get the ball rolling on some changes.”

“Okay,” Nancy says, hands poised above the keyboard. “What can I help you with?”

“I sent an email to the board of directors for Reckless this morning to let them know I want to reorganize. This is something I’ve been thinking about for a while, but honestly, almost dying has changed my perspective on a lot of things.” I give her a forced smile. “I’m going to keep my role as the brand manager, and I’m going to lead scent testing and product development. But I’m going to hire someone with more vision than me to figure out how we take the company to the next level. I’m also going to expand our marketing department.”

“Is this because of what’s happening with The Nile? You’ve always said you didn’t need to worry too much about marketing because Raul’s algorithm at The Nile would drive sales at Reckless.”

“That has been true in the past,” I say, though I’m certain it won’t be true in the future. I don’t even know if Reckless will exist in the way it currently does if I divorce Raul, but I have to try to make the company sustainable without him. “We need to expand our reach and diversify how customers are finding us. A stronger marketing department is a good investment.”

“Will I still be your secretary?” Nancy asks.

“I’d like you to be,” I say. “The other thing I want to focus more on is employee satisfaction and retention. How do we build a company bigger but still make it feel like a family, like we’re all in the successes and failures together?”

“Ambitious.”

“Yeah.” I breathe out the word with an exhausted sigh. “We’ll see if I can do it.”

My only hope is that Raul doesn’t wake up the same man who went into the coma. Because I’m pretty sure if the Raul who wakes up is the man who’s been going to war with his employees, I’m going to have a hell of a fight on my hands to keep my company and my son.

After a nap, Landon and I are feeling better, and then, because I’m trying to be on the offensive if Raul wakes up, I call Caitlin, who’s my cousin and a family lawyer. She managed to untangle Maren from her first marriage without too much damage, and I’m going to pray she can do the same for me.

“Ava!” Caitlin says when she answers. “God, I was so sorry to hear about your accident. How are you feeling?”

“Just had a nap, so better than a couple hours ago. I’ve never hurt myself this badly before, and I think I’ve overdone it today.”

“I got your email,” she says.

“Okay,” I say. “And?”

“Filing for divorce while he’s in a coma is a lot trickier than either waiting for him to wake up or for him to go in the other direction.”

“Because he can’t contest it? That’s kind of the point.”

“Right, well, the court doesn’t see that as a bonus for the person who’s being served. There’s a complicated process, through the courts, to dissolve a marriage when someone is in a coma. We can go that route, but I’d wait a while longer, especially if the doctors are telling you he will wake up.”

“Yes, but they don’t know what he’ll be like when he does wake up.”

“What have their tests indicated?” Caitlin asks, all reasonable and rational lawyer, the opposite of the response I want right now.

I just want her to tell me the divorce is in process, filed, will be finalized in a few days. More than anything, I want out.

“Scans have indicated his brain is functioning. They don’t know if he’ll undergo any personality changes or have to relearn particular skills. Some of it is unknown until he wakes up. What if he’s not mentally fit to be divorced?”

“The courts won’t force you to stay in the marriage if he’s cognitively impaired in some way. There’s precedent there, so no need to worry about that.”

I rub my forehead and wish I’d had the guts to do this before the car accident, that I’d taken a hard look at the separate lives Raul and I were living and cut the cord. I’d let his threats and my fear of the unknown stop me.