Page 49 of Reckless Love

“When we got married, I agreed to stay in my own lane—which is here—and to not interfere in his lanes.”

“I guess if that works for you both…” Jenny gives me a slight smile.

It used to. Or maybe it never did. I’m not even sure what to say.

“I’ll keep talking to him about fair practices,” I say. “I can’t guarantee it’ll matter.”

Jenny gives me an appraising look. “Turning over a new leaf?”

“I’ve been feeling differently about a lot of things lately,” I say, keeping my voice light even as my stomach churns with exactly how true that statement is. “Waking up, maybe.”

“There will be a lot of people who’ll be happy to hear you’re standing with The Nile employees.”

A chill races across my skin when I realize that might get back to Raul. It’s one thing to send him articles and videos and to talk to Jenny, but it’s quite another to speak out against him in any sort of public way.

“Working behind the scenes, I might be able to make a difference. You never know.”

“I’ll get a test bottle of this fragrance made,” Jenny says, wiggling the small sample she brought to my office. “I’ll have it sent up as soon as it’s ready.”

As my office door clicks closed behind her, I wonder how long it’ll take before I get yanked into the frontlines. My goal was to be a better person, more present, to grow my relationship with Raul instead of letting it wither and die.

Now, I fear I’ll end up at war with my husband.

Landon rushes into my arms at the end of his school day, and I have to admit that I missed picking him up consistently during the weeks we had security. I loved the evenings in our house with Stephen, but the pure joy on my son’s face when he runs out of the schoolyard and sees me waiting is worth cutting out of work early at least once a week. That’s what I decide in that moment as I hold him close—just because he’s in school, I’m not going to forget that we’re each other’s sun, moon, and stars.

“Can we go somewhere?” Landon asks when I finally set him back on his feet and lead him to our car.

“Like where?” I ask, already mentally going through all our usual places.

“Where’s Stephen? Can we go see him?”

I let Landon clamber into the back seat, and I wait for him to be buckled in before I get into the driver’s spot. “I don’t know where he is,” I admit. “He doesn’t work for us anymore.”

“What about his house? Where’s his bed?”

I stifle a laugh at Landon’s question. In his mind, everyone has a place to sleep, and whenever I’ve been vague about where we might find someone or something, he asks where the person or animal or object sleeps. It’s the cutest quirk.

The steering wheel is warm from the sun, and I flex my hands around it. We could go see Stephen’s parents, and Stephen might be there.

“Do you know where he sleeps?” Landon prods again.

“I do,” I admit. “I’m just taking a minute to think.”

“About how to get there?”

“We could…” Even as I start to frame it, I know my suggestion is the worst idea, but the chance to possibly, maybe see Stephen is too much to resist. I mean, this wasn’t my idea. “We could go see Stephen’s parents, who live in the same building as Stephen, and maybe Stephen will be there if we’re lucky.”

“Yes,” Landon says, pumping his fist.

“We can’t stay long,” I warn, although I’m not even sure what a short time frame looks like. His parents seemed quite happy to have me barge into their home the last time I did it. Maybe they’ll welcome the company.

Landon chatters about his day at school while I navigate us back to the middle-class neighborhood where Stephen took us once. I have to circle the block twice before I’m confident that I’m choosing the right driveway.

At the door, Landon is practically vibrating with excitement when I knock. I’m not at all surprised when the woman who answers is wearing scrubs. She’s not the same one as the last time I was here, and I’m about to introduce myself when a male voice from inside calls out, “Send Ava and her son in.”

In the entryway, we shed our shoes and follow the nurse into the main living area. Stephen’s dad, Walter, is in a recliner, and his mother, Lorraine, is on the couch again.

“What brings you here?” Walter asks, swiveling the chair to take us in at the doorway.