Page 44 of Reckless Love

Adequate. How did I never notice how pompous he sounds before?

I open my menu, and I try to peruse the updated chicken and fish dishes that are often seasonal. My focus is fuzzy because half my brain is tuned to whatever signal Stephen emits. I want to ask Raul something, but I can’t decide whether I’d ask under different circumstances. The overanalyzing of my motives, when jealousy is the likely culprit, gets to be too much for me. Maybe Raul will be suspicious, maybe he won’t be, but I have to ask. “Do you know who’s in the private room?”

“Heard your real estate tycoon brother flew Ellie Cooper, Wyatt Burgess, and their two kids to the island on the Tucker family jet to look at some investment condos in Rockdown.” He closes his menu. “I’m surprised Gage didn’t mention the fancy movie stars were back—isn’t Sawyer obsessed with them?—when you dropped off Landon.”

“He was in the pool,” I say, deciding on the fish. “With all the kids.” If Raul is right, Gage must be meeting with them tomorrow. The only star who’s visited our island and caught my attention was Mia Malone—her Mending Hearts album absolutely broke me.

“It amazes me your brother has been able to build his real estate company to be anything significant with the amount of time he spends with those children.”

“Those children are his,” I point out. “And his wife also has a career.” And I wish this was the first time for this conversation, as though pointing out the obvious will somehow change my circumstances.

Raul’s lips twist and he raises one eyebrow. “That feels like a dig, but we both know you don’t want more time with me.”

Instead of answering, I signal the waiter for another drink, and we order. Raul isn’t wrong. For my taste, we spend enough couple time together—which is very little. For my son, I wanted better. Growing up, my parents’ interest only stuck when I was poorly behaved, and I wanted the opposite for Landon. A partner who’d love him up in the right ways, like I try to.

We got married, had Landon, and Raul’s life changed a tiny degree, while mine did a one hundred and eighty. I can’t say exactly what I expected from motherhood, from my own family unit, since I’d never wanted kids when I was younger, but something closer to what my siblings have with their partners, like what I had just last week with Stephen in the house, and less like… this.

Silence sits between us, which is familiar and vaguely infuriating. I’m just so tired of pretending I don’t care about anything.

Fuck it.

Since it’s clear things aren’t great between us, I don’t know why I’m dancing around the realities I should be pointing out. Stephen never told me I needed to speak up about The Nile, but he flagged a lot of behavior I’ve been ignoring. Like Jenny with her husband, if Landon was being mistreated, there’s no way I’d stay silent. I’d be loud and reckless, just like the people who’ve been harassing me. These workers are someone’s family members.

If I’ve become hollow and superficially interested in my life, maybe the first step in changing that is now.

Just because he hasn’t listened to me before doesn’t mean he can’t or won’t. Maybe his workers weren’t barking up the wrong tree after all.

“So, does the unionization mean you’re going to pay your workers a fair wage now?”

“I pay above minimum wage.”

Barely. While I might not have said anything before, I’m not oblivious to the gossip about him, about The Nile. It’s a big enough company on the island that it’s impossible to shutter all knowledge.

“That’s not a living wage on this island, and we both know that.”

“Then I suppose they’ll need more than one job. The government has to increase their minimums if they’re no longer enough.”

“You know King Alexander has been trying,” I say, exasperated. “You’ve been part of the group actively working against him, influencing the Advisory Council to maintain the current standard and vote against him in those government proposals about a livable wage.”

Raul laughs, and it’s clear he’s not angry—he’s amused. “You’ve paid more attention than I thought. I like your siblings, but they’re a terrible influence on you. Naïve. Misguided. Families don’t accumulate the kind of money the Tuckers have by being fair.”

“My parents’ generation and the ones before it were selfish,” I say, and I almost can’t believe the words are leaving my mouth. It’s like Sawyer’s brain has invaded my body, but it is true. My siblings have talked about it a lot, and while I might not have actively participated in those conversations, I was listening. Maybe it’s all finally sunk in. “They hoarded wealth. My ancestors kept people down to keep themselves up.”

“Was Sawyer at Gage’s house? He doesn’t spout this kind of nonsense, and obviously someone has been influencing you.”

“Because I can’t possibly have an independent thought?”

“The girl I met and slept with was feisty. Knew what she wanted. A good fuck, followed very closely by a goodbye.”

The fuck had not been good. Adequate, maybe. He’s probably only referring to his own experience. Just like all the times that followed. Telling him he’s bad in bed and criticizing his humanity might be too hard a one-two punch for our anniversary dinner. I’ve been very good at faking almost every aspect of my life.

I even fooled myself for a while.

“Then you got pregnant, and the feisty girl sort of faded away into a dutiful mother and wife. The kind of woman a billionaire entrepreneur can count on. That’s what we agreed. This version of you tonight is amusing, but she can’t stay.” He chuckles. “You and I are united in our desire to make more money, built empires. That’s who I married. That’s the deal we made.”

A deal I made at the absolute lowest point in my life.

“The Nile employs a lot of people, and those people talk. If you’re decent to them, they’ll be decent to you. It’s a pretty simple principle,” I argue.