Page 110 of Reckless Love

“Stephen,” I whine. “Please. I love the feel of you so much. I love you so much.”

“Come for me, baby. Then I’ll spill myself deep inside you. Fill you full of me.”

The rumble of his voice thick with desire, combined with his actual words, sends a flash of want through me, pushing me over the edge. “Oh!” I dig my nails into the back of his head, and then I throw my head back as a rush so powerful it’s almost painful shoots through me. “Oh, Stephen. Oh my god.” I’m panting as wave after wave crashes over me.

Keeping me secured tightly against him, he flips us over so he’s driving into me with purpose as I keep flexing around him. His forehead is pressed against mine, and then he kisses me, taking in all my cries of pleasure-pain. I wrap my legs around him, urging him as deep as I can take him. In this moment, there is no such thing as close enough. I want to melt into him.

“I want to come inside you, Ava. Is that okay?”

“Yes,” I say. “Yes.” I want that more than I’ve ever wanted anything. “I love you. Yes.”

Then he hitches my leg a little higher on his hip and drives into me one last time. “Fuck, I love you,” he whispers into my ear as his hips kick forward and he spills himself deep inside me. “I love you so fucking much.”

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Stephen

I’m living my life balanced on a tightrope. If I fall, on either side lies danger.

To the left is Celia and whatever she accumulated on me during the years I worked for her. In some ways, that’s the safer option, the one I’m better equipped to deal with. She may have something substantial on me, but I can guarantee I have something equally damning on her. All those files, cases, and reports didn’t write themselves, and I kept careful, detailed notes, some secret, some right on the department server under code names and dummy case numbers.

To the right is what happens when Raul wakes up, and it’s the side that scares me more. He’s volatile. Even when he’ll wake up is unpredictable. On the phone the other day, I overheard Ava talking to the hospital. Raul isn’t awake, but his latest tests suggest he could be conscious soon. Then who knows if he’ll be the same man? So much uncertainty. The only thing I do know is that he may not be able to force Ava to stay in the marriage, but he can make her withdrawal as painful and lengthy as possible. If he hurts her, I’ll want to kill him, and that’s no good for any of us. Could be really, really bad, actually.

“What are you thinking about?” Ava asks from the passenger seat beside me. “You’ve been pretty quiet.”

“Always running scenarios,” I say, easing my palm along her skirt-clad leg and resting it on her bare knee.

“For work?” Ava asks.

“Are we almost there?” Landon asks from the back seat.

“Not long now, buddy,” I say, glancing at him in the rearview mirror.

We’re going to visit my parents, and as much as it’s dangerous to pretend Ava and Landon are mine, I can’t seem to help myself. I’m manifesting this reality in probably the unhealthiest way. Take them to visit my parents. Fake a family until we become a family.

At the care home, I lead them through the maze of rooms to where my parents are located. Ava’s hand is in mine, and I briefly wonder about dropping it. There’s pretending in my mind and then there’s making it very public across Bellerive. Affair is written all over our joined hands. I wish I cared more.

As usual, my parents are on the terrace with the friends they’ve made. They’re playing a game of Monopoly, and Landon tugs on my pocket when we get close.

“Will I be able to play?” he whispers.

“Doubtful,” I say. “From those money piles, I’d say they’ve been playing a while.”

“Oh,” my mother exclaims. “It’s my favorite son.”

“I’m your only son,” I say, leaning down to kiss my mother and never letting go of Ava’s hand. Part of me never wants to let any part of her go ever again.

I catch my father eyeing our joined hands, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he pats his knee. “Landon, I could use some help. I have all this money, and I’m not sure how to spend it.”

“I’m too far behind,” my mother declares, pushing back from the table. “I’ll forfeit my finish for a chance to visit with my son and his…” She glances at our joined hands. “Very close friend.”

Taking her walker, she leads Ava and me back into the care home and into their room. There are two recliners in the room now, and my mother gestures to them for us to sit.

“Where’d these come from?” I ask, nestling in.

“Vanessa ordered them and had them delivered. Space is tight, but Vanessa found these gems on some website. Your dad and I didn’t want to be stuck lying in bed whenever we were in our room. Plus it’s nice when we have visitors. Somewhere more comfortable to sit.”

“I could have done that,” I say.