Page 107 of Reckless Love

“Stephen might not have the money of Raul, but he’s a much better man.”

“Is he? Because I seem to recall that better man doing some very bad things for a paycheck.”

“I didn’t come here to fight about Stephen.” Which isn’t exactly the truth, but she’s thrown me off balance. “I know that Landon isn’t Raul’s son.”

“We’ve covered this, Ava. Years ago. Two DNA tests to satisfy your curiosity. Whatever fiction you’ve created in your head can’t overcome facts.”

“It’s not fiction, Mother. The palace medical clinic ran the test again. Landon is Stephen’s.”

She flushes, but I don’t think it’s with embarrassment. “You went behind my back to order another test?”

“You lied to my face!”

“I did what was needed, what you’d never have done. You were pregnant, and the most logical solution was a marriage that would benefit you and your son.”

“I have the Tucker Trust. It’s not like we were on the verge of homelessness or whatever else you invented to—”

“You were unmarried and pregnant. Not only that, but you were wallowing. A shell of yourself. And if I’d allowed you to stay in that state, you’d never have recovered. I fixed it. Turned things around for you.”

“You ruined—”

“Ruined? Please. If I hadn’t stepped in, what would you have done? Waited for Stephen? And if he’d never been injured, would he have ever returned? Have you asked him that?” She glares at me, and my chest aches with how right her interpretation is.

Stephen wouldn’t have come back, at least not now, maybe not ever, if he hadn’t been injured.

“You would have ruined your life for someone who clearly didn’t care about you. Left the island without a word. Made it impossible to be tracked or traced. Is that a man who wants to be a father? A partner to you? Don’t be a fool.”

“If he’d known, he’d have come back. If I’d known, I would have done anything to get him back.”

“And lost so much of yourself in the process. I did you a favor.”

“If I’d been miserable, it would have been a misery of my own making. At least Landon and I would have known the truth. We wouldn’t have been living a lie.”

“If you’d known Stephen was the father, you’d have waited for him to come back, squandered your dreams, your chance for a good, profitable, high-class life. By marrying Raul, you got everything you could have wanted. A blank check to fund Reckless, a father figure for Landon, a partner for you.”

“You cannot play god with your children’s lives. Have you learned nothing from Gage and Nathaniel? Have you learned nothing from losing my brothers and sisters? You’re exiled from the rest of the family.”

“They’ll come back. They’ll need something from me, and they’ll be back. That’s how I got you, Ava. They were too busy living their lives, and you were all alone. You needed someone, and they weren’t there. So I helped you. I made things better. I did what a mother is supposed to do.”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It’s discombobulating that half of what she says is the truth and the other half a distortion of something like the truth. “I never asked for this kind of help.”

“Of course not. But I knew best. I knew what you needed, even if you didn’t. There’s still time to set this right. You don’t have to give up everything in return for nothing. Raul will wake up, and we can make him forgive you. We can.”

“No! God, Mother. No. I don’t want the life you created for me. I don’t want that reality. I accepted it because I didn’t… I’d forgotten I had a choice. But I remember now that I get to choose. I get to make my own destiny, and I never would have agreed to be with Raul if I’d known the truth. You kept that choice from me, and I can’t forgive you. I’ll never forgive you.”

And I’m not sure how I’ll forgive myself either. My priorities were in the wrong place, or at least I told everyone they were in a place that maybe they weren’t. Not really. Not truly. I valued the wrong things—or thought I needed to value the wrong things. That the only way to earn the respect of my family and my mother’s precious society was through a marriage that smothered pieces of me I wasn’t sure would ever thrive again.

“Even if Raul wakes up, our marriage is over. I’m not staying in this cage you created and allowed him to tend. With all the facts, I would have chosen a different brand of misery.”

And that’s the truth. No matter how much I thought I wanted a company and a wealthy partner to create all these elaborate business plans with, the minute I found out I was pregnant and assumed Stephen was the father, I wanted to give all of that up. I would have abandoned all those plans without regret.

That old adage that sometimes you don’t realize what you have until it’s gone was one hundred percent true for me. As soon as Stephen was out of reach, what I’d lost was clear, and I realized that I hadn’t just betrayed him, but I’d denied my own heart.

And for what?

“You think you’re going to live happily ever after with Stephen Foster?” My mother lets out a caustic laugh. “You’re not going to embarrass me or Raul more than you already have. Do you know the things Stephen used to do for me?”

“It doesn’t matter to me.”