Page 99 of Reckless Love

“Get out of your head,” I say against her thigh.

“I wish it was that easy,” she moans.

“It used to be.”

“It hasn’t been for over six years now.”

I ease back on my haunches, her legs sliding off my shoulders. She sits up, running a hand through her hair, and I’m dumbstruck. “What does that mean?”

“It means I haven’t had an orgasm in over six years.”

“Fuck off,” I say with a chuckle, “that would mean…” But when our gazes connect, my smile slips away. “I knew you were probably having problems, but six years? He’s never given you an orgasm?”

“I wish I could say it’s all his fault, but I can’t even give myself one.”

“That has to be an exaggeration.”

“The last orgasm I had was with you,” she says, flinging her hand in my direction.

“Holy shit,” I say, somewhat amazed. “Karma really fucked you over, huh?”

“Shut up,” she says, and she grabs a pillow from the bed and hits me in the face with it. “Ow,” she says, dropping the pillow and clutching her ribs. “Why does karma hate me?”

I crawl into the bed, and I draw her close, cradling her to me. “Not even a hot tub jet?”

She punches me lightly in my ribs. “Stop.” She wiggles against me. “Maybe you can just fuck me and we can forget we had this conversation?”

“You don’t come, I don’t come. That’s not fucking changing just because you’ve had a bit of a hard time.”

“A bit of a hard time?” Ava leans back to make eye contact with me. “Six and a half years, Stephen.”

I move away from her to stand up, and I hold my hand out for her to follow. She takes it and stands with me. Gently, I lift her shirt over her head, unclip her bra, and kiss her shoulder. She draws my shirt over my head and tosses it to the floor.

I cup her face and run my thumb along her cheek. “I’m not fucking you tonight, but we will figure this out together. This has to be some sort of mental block. Have you been to a therapist or anything?”

“No, because then I would have had to talk to Raul about it all.”

My eyes widen involuntarily. “You’ve been faking it with him this whole time?”

“I’ve been faking a lot of things, Stephen. At least faking the orgasms was easy.”

I close my eyes, and I wrap my arms around her, bringing her flush with my chest. “We’ll figure it out,” I murmur against the top of her head.

“Even if we can’t,” she says, kissing my chest, “I just really love being this close to you again.”

For a beat, I let her words wash over me, a massive comfort amongst so much uncertainty. At least we have this. We got this.

I reach around her and throw back the covers, and then I lift her up, sliding her into bed. Before I get in beside her, I check all the doors, turn off the lights, and then I ease in beside her. She backs up until her back is flush with my chest, and I wrap an arm around her, tucking her in close. Once she’s secure, we both release a deep sigh.

“Right here,” she whispers. “Right here feels like home.”

“It’s yours for as long as you want it,” I whisper against her ear, tightening my grip. All my choices always seem to lead back to her, but I have no idea if her choices in the long run will do the same.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Ava

We’ve been living with Stephen for weeks. There is no reason I should still be in his house and not in my giant mansion. Landon has returned to school full-time. I’m at work part-time. Apart from our living arrangements, life is almost normal.