Page 188 of Securing the Pucking Rebound

“What? No, don’t be crazy. Work’s just been busy. There hasn’t been much time for pleasure.”

“All work and no play makes Garrett a very boring boy,” I mock.

“You’re telling me,” he says as I try and fail to stifle my yawn. It’s late here, but it’s even later where he is. “You should get to bed.”

“So should you,” I point out.

“Yeah, I will soon. I’ve got a few things I need to finish off.”

“You work too hard.”

He doesn’t respond to that and instead makes me promise to keep in touch, and to let me know when I find the courage to speak to Calvin.

I hang up and slump lower on the couch, exhaustion tugging at my muscles.

I’ve got another week at work, our Christmas night out, and then I’ll get back on a plane and head for my parents’ for a few days.

As I’m trying to convince myself to get up and crawl into bed, my cell buzzes in my hand.

My heart lurches because it already knows whose name is going to light up my screen.

I close my eyes and take a breath before lifting it to look.

Despite receiving at least two messages a day from Calvin, one first thing in the morning, and another last thing at night, I’m yet to reply to a single one of them. I want to, but I’m terrified of allowing him to draw me back in. He makes me feel like that twelve-year-old girl again who didn’t have anything to worry about. Who didn’t know how much love could hurt.

Or maybe that’s exactly how I’m meant to feel with him. Maybe I’m meant to let go and trust that he still is the boy from that summer.

With thoughts spinning wildly through my head, I lift my cell and open the message.

Calvin King of the ice Keller: How was your day? I guess it’s busy as hell with the holidays coming up. Darcy put me through the wringer today, and everyone is a little on edge about the rumors circling online. We haven’t heard anything yet, but I can’t shake the feeling that something big is going to happen. If it does, at least you might get a quieter neighbor, huh? Anyway, I just wanted to say that I hope you’ve had a good day and that I miss you. I miss you so fucking much, Sienna. Nothing in my life is the same without you in it. It wasn’t after you left the ranch that summer, and it isn’t now. I’m sorry x

I lower my cell to my lap and swipe the tears that have spilled from my eyes.

“Get a grip,” I tell myself before getting to my feet and walking to my bedroom, ready to call it a night. But I can’t stop myself from opening his message again once I’m settled in bed.

My sheets still smell like him, and I both love and hate that I haven’t found the time to change them yet. His scent is comforting and torturous all at the same time. So are the images in my head of just how good he looked in my bed with my sheets resting low on his hips.

Goddamn it. That boy has been in my head for more than half of my existence on this earth, and I don’t think it’s changing anytime soon.

With darkness surrounding me, I finally do something I’ve been holding back from all week. My thumbs begin tapping at the screen, and I send a very simple, very true message back.

52

CALVIN

Sienna: I miss you too.

Istopped breathing the second I saw the dots bouncing. I thought my cell was playing games with me. I almost put it to sleep and gave up on getting a response. It hasn’t mattered how much I’ve stared at it the past few days; no dots have bounced, and no reply has come.

I’m not sure what I was expecting—maybe for her to tell me to stop bothering her and go away. But I wasn’t expecting that.

Sure, Bea has told me that Sienna’s hurting, that she’s missing me, but it’s different hearing it from her best friend.

Seeing those words, those four simple words, gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, I might be able to fix everything.

My hand holding my cell trembles as I scramble for a response.

Does she even want one?