Page 123 of Securing the Pucking Rebound

I’m pretty sure he swallows his tongue.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, I just know it. Can you please just make sure everything I own is donated to a youth hockey program when I go?”

I smile at him, not missing the fact that he doesn’t want his fortune to go to his family, but considering we’re having such a nice, easy evening together, I don’t mention it.

“Are you done yet? I’m lonely over here,” he whines a few minutes later.

“Almost. Do you want another glass of wine?” I ask as I pour myself a small one.

I don’t want to get drunk, but I’m hoping a nice buzz will help me relax. It sure helped when we had that video call the other night, and assuming tonight is going to go in a similar direction, only in person, I could use the help.

“Just water for me, please.”

“You got it,” I say, grabbing two bottles and my glass of wine before finally joining him on the couch.

I lower my ass to my usual cushion and take a sip of my wine.

“What are you doing over there?” Calvin asks, his brows pinched tight.

“I…uh…” I hesitate as he rests his arm along the back of the cushion, inviting me to snuggle against him.

Unable to deny the pull I feel toward him, I shuffle over.

The second I’m in touching distance, he wraps his arm around me, his hand clamping down on my waist as he brushes his lips over my temple.

“Much better.”

“What are we watching? Any games on?”

He chuckles. “I can always find a hockey game, darlin’. But we don’t have to.”

“I don’t mind,” I say honestly as I pass him the remote.

I watch as he flicks through a few channels before settling on a college game that’s being televised tonight.

He relaxes to watch, and I snuggle closer, sliding my hand across his abs.

They bunch the second I touch him, and a smile twitches my lips. I love that my touch affects him just as much as his does me.

We fall into a comfortable silence as we watch the TV, and to start with, we’re both still, but then his fingers begin to shift at my waist. It’s innocent and over the fabric of his hoodie, but just knowing that he’s touching me has my temperature climbing.

Feeling brave, I bite down on my bottom lip and gently shift my hand a little lower on his stomach.

He shudders as my little finger brushes the waistband of his pants.

It’s the most forward I’ve been with a man in…well, ever. But there’s something about Calvin that gives me the confidence to explore in a way I never have before.

None of my previous experiences has allowed me to indulge. They’ve all been about him and what he wants. I never had a voice. And despite knowing that, it’s only really hitting home now with how understanding Calvin is. He wants to hear my voice; he wants to follow my lead and make sure I’m comfortable. And if that isn’t a turn-on, well, I don’t know what is.

“I was in a relationship in college,” I start. I’m not sure when I decided to share, but the words spill free regardless. “I thought he was everything. Football player. The guy all the girls wanted. You know the type.”

I wait a beat to see if Calvin is going to react, but it’s like he’s frozen beside me.

Unable to look at him, I keep my eyes on the screen.

“Things were great for quite a while, and even looking back now, I can’t quite figure out when it all changed. We’d been having sex for some time. It was…okay. I enjoyed it. It wasn’t anything like it is in the books or the movies, but it was okay.” Calvin tenses as I say okay for a second time, but he remains quiet. “As time went on, he started using sex against me.” Shame wants to swallow me whole as I think about it now. How I didn’t see it earlier is beyond me, and I feel so stupid. “He’d use it as a reward or a punishment, not just because he loved me like he claimed to. If he deemed I did something wrong, he’d punish me by not allowing me to finish. He’d be rough and take what he needed.”

Calvin’s breathing gets more and more erratic as I continue talking, and I don’t doubt that he can feel my hand trembling against his abs.