Page 216 of Risking the Pucking Defense

“I don’t know, Hails. That’s your department, not mine.”

“I just…” She wipes at her cheeks, clearing the lingering tears away. “I’m fed up with hiding, Hayden. I’m fed up with being scared of my past. It shouldn’t be affecting my future, influencing my decisions and the way I live my life.”

“No, it shouldn’t. But it’s still your life, and you have to live it the way that’s best for you. Letting this get out will come hand in hand with press attention. And that…”

“Will make my husband sit up and take notice.”

My stomach knots at the way she calls another man that.

“I don’t want that. But also, it’s time to take control of all aspects of my life and fight for what I want. Yes, he can throw some painful shit my way, but I either figure out a way to ride the storm, or I don’t get to live the life I really want.”

“And what do you really want?” I ask, just to make sure we’re on the same page here.

“I want a future that’s free from the nightmares of my past. I want a future full of hope, happiness, and laughter…with you.”

60

HAILEE

Fear still races through my veins, but I can’t deny that it lessened the second Hayden dropped into the car beside me.

Seeing that photo online and reading the assumption that there’s a good reason I’m wearing a Monroe jersey sent me spiraling.

Before I registered my actions, I’d jumped into PR mode, and I had an email drafted, ready to get it taken down.

But as I hovered my mouse over the send button, I hesitated.

What if I just let it go?

What if I allowed everything just to happen instead of micromanaging every element of my life because of people who are no longer a part of it?

What if…

The potential freedom that would offer hits me hard. Almost as hard as considering the consequences.

For years, Brandon has refused to sign the divorce papers I served him not long after leaving. For years, he’s controlled my puppet strings. For years, he’s used me as a pawn to control his own narrative.

Sure, it pisses me the fuck off. But other than wanting my freedom, I’ve never had a reason to go head-to-head with him.

Well, now I do.

I also have people around me who’ll see past his bullshit. They’ll stand by my side as he goes through with his threats. They’ll stand by me as I stand tall and let him think his shots are bouncing off me without making a mark.

Beneath my hardened exterior, it might be a very different story, but I have Hayden. He’ll help me pick up the pieces and put me back together.

He’s the one who’s important now.

Us, and the life we want to build together. And I can’t do that until I’ve finally severed the ties to my past.

After I deleted that email, I gathered up my stuff and ran.

The decision I’d made was huge. The feeling of the weight that was being lifted from my shoulders was overwhelming, and while the one person I needed wasn’t here yet, there was another who would help.

My brother.

Sitting in this car that I bought in his memory because it was his favorite makes me feel close to him.

I may not live in my hometown anymore, but even if I did, I’m not sure I’d feel comfort from visiting his graveside. Looking at his name engraved on a headstone is so final.