Page 112 of Risking the Pucking Defense

Why did I message her exactly?

I don’t do this. I don’t rely on others. I don’t need someone to listen to the problems; I just deal with them. Okay, so mostly I just stuff them under the carpet and forget they exist as best I can. But that isn’t going to work this time.

“You know already, don’t you?” I mutter under my breath, feeling like a naughty child who’s just been caught stealing candy from the store.

“Maybe. But I’d like to hear it from you to ensure I have all the details.”

Finally, I look at her, and the second I see nothing but compassion and empathy in her eyes, my shoulders drop from my ears.

“I…I think I’ve fucked everything up.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

“I might have lost everything I’ve worked so hard for,” I cry, fighting and failing to stop my eyes from filling with tears. “I didn’t mean to, it just…it just happened, and now…” I throw my arms in the air and stare up at the ceiling.

“Come and sit down,” Bea instructs. My legs move without instruction from my brain, and in only a few seconds, I find myself beside her with her arm around my shoulders and my coffee warming my hands.

A comfortable silence falls between us as she allows me the time I need to get my head together.

“I went to HR yesterday evening and told them that something had happened between Hayden and me,” I confess quietly.

Her lack of reaction tells me what I already knew—that Rett has told her everything.

“And what did they say?”

Placing my still full cup on the coffee table before us, I drop my head into my hands.

“She told me to make the necessary arrangements for my senior manager to travel with the team tomorrow while she talks to the team owner and they decide my fate.”

“Shit,” Bea mutters.

“I…I didn’t do anything wrong, Bea. Not really. I was just being supportive, and…and…”

“I know,” she soothes. “Hayden, he…he has a way of drawing you in. I get it.”

I glance at her.

“He’s a sweetheart and a really good person.”

I nod in complete agreement.

“Life has been so unfair. I wish there was something I could have done, or even do now to make it easier.”

“Right?” I agree. “I’ve experienced that kind of loss, and it fucking sucks, so when he told me what had happened, there wasn’t even a consideration about not supporting him. I just didn’t expect…this.”

“What is this?” she asks hesitantly.

I release a long breath.

“Honestly, I have no idea.”

“But it’s something. Enough to tell HR about it.”

“Yeah, no. I don’t know,” I ramble. “When we’re together…I’ve never felt like it before. I feel…lighter. Like nothing outside of us matters. And he makes me smile and laugh like no one else I’ve ever met.”

When I glance at Bea, she’s got the widest smile on her lips.

“But it’s wrong.”