Page 57 of The Coldest: Stay Dangerous Part 2

She tries to scoff, but it just sounds wet before she tries to wipe her nose with her hand. “Here to bury the knife deeper?”

“What’s your issue with me? We were cool enough the last time we were around each other.” I turn to rest my back on the railing of the deck and take her in.

She’s twenty-three now, but still looks every bit of the eighteen she was when she was trying to keep up with Fredo and Slime. Still has that long permed hair and high cheekbones. Filled out some, in her hips and ass, but still short as fuck.

But then she turns to me, and I see the grief and tiredness in her bloodshot eyes.

“I reached out to you. I reached out to everyone when Fredo… I was pregnant and alone, and no one answered.” She scoffs again and turns back toward the ocean. “No one but fucking Nan.”

“Honestly… I was coked out until like four months ago, not counting a brief stint in rehab. Not an excuse, but it’s true.” I shrug, and match her small smile when she rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, I heard… I’m, uh, I’m glad you’re okay now.”

“And here I thought you still think I’m a hot ass mess.”

Ju at least looks embarrassed as she mashes her lips. “I’m sorry you heard that… but you’ve been here long enough to know how annoying Rico and Nan are, if you’ve been here as long as the blogs have been reporting you missing.”

I sit up immediately. “What else are they saying?” This is why I’m glad Ju is young. She’s into that shit enough to report back.

I’ve talked to Auty a couple times, but she refuses to indulge. When I ask, she just hands the phone to Deuce or hangs up entirely.

Ju’s eyebrows kiss. “You don’t know? Your parents put out a whole missing person’s report. Grimey put out a whole statement saying you’re not missing, and everyone’s been wondering which rehab you’re in. It had died down until Cochise was in the blogs and then people started asking where you were again.”

Cochise.

How fucked up is it that I haven’t thought about him once? He deserves better.

“Mars loves you,” Ju mumbles, but I hear it, and a smile breaks my face in half.

“I love him, too,” I reply honestly. “He’s a great kid.”

“He is.” Ju sighs, resting her head on her arms.

“Can I ask–”

“Why he’s here and I’m not? Why does everyone assume children are better off with their mothers?” Tears gather in Ju’s lids, spilling over sideways as she meets my gaze. “Mars is loved here. He doesn’t want for anything. Even if I’m not welcome here, he is, and he deserves to be surrounded by family that will raise him right, while I’m in school.”

“I’m not gonna pretend to know your story, but I know Bleach–”

“Blanche–”

“And she wouldn’t leave you nor him hanging. Yeah, Nan and Rico and Miele and even I’m great, but we’re not his mom. Mars wants to be with his mom. I’m sure he’d trade all the toys and the beach to be in some cramped apartment with you. You don’t miss him when you’re gone?”

“I miss him… I miss him so much.”

She turns her head, her shoulders shaking like her voice.

I don’t think she’s talking about just Mars.

“I’m… not strong enough for this, Wynter. It wasn’t supposed to be like this… it was supposed to be all of us, and now it’s nothing.”

“Have you… do you still talk to Slime?” I highly doubt it, but I still ask.

She shakes her head, wiping her face. “He hates me, sent me this long crazy message on a fake number before I changed mine. Everything’s just so fucked up… if I’d known all this would happen, I would have never went to that first party. I would have never–”

“Hey, hey.” I scoot over, and wrap my arm around her. She leans into me and begins to softly cry. “You can’t think like that. The past is irrelevant, Ju. Fredo’s gone. You’re not. And your kid is sleep in the house. You gotta get your shit together, girl. You owe it to Mars.”

She sniffles, but she nods on my shoulder. We spend some time like that, listening to the waves, until the motion lights turn off. Then we both get up and walk to our respective rooms.