Page 151 of The Coldest: Stay Dangerous Part 2

“I really… okay,” she exhales. “So, I was being petty. Not telling him about us. I was hurt that he didn’t know. I thought Fredo would say something, but then he just didn’t. And then… I thought I imagined it. How much I meant to you. I thought maybe… it wasn’t what I thought it was. It wasn’t that serious. So I thought it didn’t matter. But now that we… I know how it looks, and I don’t know how to make it right.”

I’m quiet for a long moment, well after we leave city limits.

“You miss him?” the words feel disgusting on my tongue. So much so that I finish the water bottle I grabbed that morning.

“I do,” she whispers sadly. “After the accident, all I had was him and Cochise. And I feel like, since I… had sex with both of them, I ruined the friendships in different ways. Coach is off being trained to be a modern day king, and I’m sure his new wife doesn’t want me anywhere near him. And Set… I don’t see him getting over this. And if he does, it’ll never be the same. You know how he is.”

I grab her hand now, and kiss all her fingers around the skin she’s messed with. When I hear a small sniffle, followed by hard chewing, I curse myself for the thousandth time for being so hardbody.

It was easy to act like I hated Snow because I did. I hated her for having an abortion. I hated her for breaking up with me. I hated her for going to the Birch, for when I thought she left Haze for dead. For when I found out she started fucking with Set.

The depth of my hate was only possible, however, because I loved her so much. Yeah, she was petty as fuck, but it was on me. I should have let my niggas know she was off limits, whether we ever rekindled our shit or not. It would have been no skin off my back to put Set on game, to let Fredo tell him all the times he wanted to, because of course, my brother could see into the future, and knew me better than I knew myself. He always thought we’d find our way to each other, and knew the path to that would be a storm of my own doing.

“I’ve gotta stop fucking my friends,” Snow whimpers.

“Nieve,” I tsk, “you fucked me, and that turned out okay.” I squeeze her hand to show her I’m being serious. “I’on know about Cochise and his fiancée, but Set will get over this shit. It ain’t been no time foreal. Yeah, we was both on bullshit, but we was both on bullshit with each other. On Baby, if Haze woulda put you in rehab instead of begging me to bring you to Belize, it would have never been no reason for us to bring up our past. You woulda been on bullshit for the rest of your life.”

“Rico.” Snow shifts so that she’s facing me in the car. I grin, kissing her fingers again as I cruise toward Hudson Lake.

“Let’s not rewrite history. I wasn’t on bullshit. Set’s so mad because he knows how much I loved you and how much you hurt me. I just never said a name. You were the one faking like you hated me. Faked it real good. I should have known though. How you hate someone but want them in your skin every hour of every day. Then… we starting fucking and it was a wrap.”

She laughs it off, but I can tell from the vacant look in her eyes, she’s trying to remember specifics she can’t recall.

“Ty-Ty told me to stop playing up,” I say, throwing her a bone. “I ended up telling him everything in Colombia, and he lit fire under my ass. I mean, I figured I was bullshitting when you sliced my face open and I ain’t kill you on the spot, so I guess I was already warming up to locking yo ass down again.”

“You ain’t lock shit down, and I owe you way more than my favorite feature on that pretty face of yours.” She brings my hand to her mouth, but she bites my fingers instead of kissing them. It goes straight to my dick, and this goddamn cock lock rubs against my hardening erection.

“You can cut me anywhere you like, Snow. Just as long as you stitch me back together.”

“You’re so gross,” she snorts, looking away from me as I pull into a park. I chose the lot by the swan rides so that it would be obvious what we’re doing out here, and once again she squeals and hops out the car before me.

“Bro, you gotta wait for me.” I round the car and catch up to her, pulling her close. “I know you don’t be doing this shit when you got your security.”

“That’s one thing I don’t like about being a ‘celebrity.’” She uses air quotes before curling her arm around my waist and leaning into my chest. “I be wanting to say no one cares about me, but I guess that’s not true, huh?”

“You always been a star, Snow. You the only one who don’t believe it.”

It’s early enough on a weekday that we’re one of the few couples there. She’s all giggles as we get strapped in, and takes hella pictures and videos while I do all the work. But I go around our part of the lake three times, paddling by myself, just to keep her smile on her face.

And when she leans toward me to take a selfie, I’m surprised how easy my smile comes, too. My chest expands, and I find myself doing lame shit, like kissing her cheek for a picture, and even taking some of her.

I end up posting one of the water on my story with a Dom Kennedy song I like when I’m at a surrounding picnic table. Snow is in my line of vision, at the ice cream truck, getting us both a strawberry shortcake.

Nutty texts me, asking me if I’m still around, and to meet him at a local arcade if I am. When I tell him I’m not alone, he calls me immediately.

“Ricky Ricardo, who the fuck you at the park with?!”

“Wynter,” I reply, watching her pay the ice cream man.

“Oh,” he cackles, “I gotta see this. You got my lo. Come on and bring Powdahead Paisley. I got Choc with me so it can be a double date.”

“I’ll, uh, have to ask–”

“Don’t be fuckin’ scary nigga,” he grits into the phone. “You and Set can fool everyone else about this tiff being about Mars, but I know the real. And I know she gotta be something for you to go against yo nigga over pussy, so I wanna see whatever the fuck y’all got up close and personal. Hurry up! I’m finna get two more playing cards.”

This nigga clicks in my face just as Snow skips over and hands me my ice cream. She sits in between my legs, putting one of her thighs on top of mine as she starts to open her treat.

“Nutty and Dallas out here. They want us to meet them at the arcade.”