Page 84 of Unravel Me

“I’m not hiding from you…” My voice grows small with the weight of the truth balancing on my tongue. “But I did hide us. I didn’t want anyone destroying what we had.”

Rhett lets out a humorless laugh.

“All I know is I like who I am when I’m with you. I like who I am when it’s just you, me and Mable. When there’s no one else and not a care in the world. I like that version of me.”

“I like who I am with you, too,” he finally says, eyes cast out beyond the balcony before they return to me. And as soon as we lock gazes, I know the next words out of his mouth will hurt.

“But darlin’, can’t you see? That’s not the real world. You have to let people in. We can’t exist in a bubble. You can’t keep up this facade with them and have me. How can you expect us to build a future like that?”

No, no, no, no. This is not how Rhett Anderson is going to break my heart. Not like this.

“I’m figuring it out.” A million words race through my mind, grasping at me, because I can’t lose him. “And I do know what I want. I want you!”

He shakes his head, his eyes glossier than ever. “Are you sure? Because for the last three months I’ve been falling in love with you. For the first time I let myself picture a real future with someone. I let you in all the way. All the way…and you held me at a distance.” He taps his fingers on the table. “So don’t tell me you know what you want.”

Tears stream down my face as Rhett stands, coming around the table. I shut my eyes, but he lifts my chin gingerly with his finger.

“So, this is it, huh? This is how you end it?” I choke out.

“I love you, Audrey.” His admission should’ve filled me with warmth, but those words cut like a self-inflicted wound. “You know I would’ve done anything for you…but I don’t know how to be with you right now.”

I nod silently, because no words could ever capture the pain of the bullet that just tore through my bleeding heart.

“You deserve the time to get to know yourself.”

“And you deserve someone who doesn’t hide you,” I reply, looking up at Rhett through tears.

He bites his lips together, remaining silent before walking inside.

That’s the cruel truth about life and love, isn’t it? You never truly grasp what you have until it’s gone. And even though he’s in the space next to me, I know he’s gone. I know I’ve done irreversible damage.

And I have no one to blame but myself.

Chapter forty-seven

Rhett

“Hey man, you gonna drink that? Because if not, I’ll take it.” Ky’s bar stool tips towards me, and I shake my head, sliding the lukewarm beer across the counter. The music in the Bourbon Barrel is way too loud, even the dim lights are pissing me off. I should’ve just sucked it up and let Ky come over to my house for drinks and food like old times, but I couldn’t stomach the idea of sitting in the backyard, shooting the shit.

My entire property is riddled with her. It’s been one week since we left New York.

One week since I essentially broke it off.

One week of oscillating between anger at Audrey and anger at myself.

One week of wondering if I was overreacting. One week of feeling betrayed as hell.

But the bedroom still smells like her jasmine perfume. The kitchen certainly doesn’t smell as good; it’s riddled with takeout containers and junk I can’t be bothered to put away.

“You look like shit, man.” I haven’t shaved in a week, and I grabbed this wrinkled shirt out of the dirty laundry bin, no fucks left to give.

“Fuck you, too, Ky.” I shove him and he shrugs, polishing off my beer.

“You know you didn’t have to come out tonight.”

I stand to stretch my legs, looking at my best friend and try to muster up a semblance of joy. I knew I was being an ass. I’d barely said anything in the thirty minutes we’ve been sitting at this bar, not acknowledging anyone, especially not the bartender who is obnoxiously flirting with me. Part of me wonders if I should fill my bed with a warm body tonight, maybe the bartender, but the other part of me can’t fathom letting anyone sleep on the left side.

It was somehow still her spot. How fucked is that?