Page 63 of Unravel Me

“That’s great…I guess? But I didn’t know you cared so much about what they thought?”

My breath gets stuck in my chest because the answer wasn’t easy. Not easy to explain, and certainly not easy to navigate.

“Lately, I’ve been feeling like I'm living a double life. One with Rhett that has totally caught me by surprise. Then one where I'm still trying to fit into my family. And for some fucked up reason, I can’t let go of either dream.” Frustration bubbles at the surface but Penny doesn't shy away, she just looks on like a friend who's seen it all. “Because in my heart I want both to exist. I want them to love me no matter what I chose, or who I chose.”

Pen hands me her napkin before I even realize I’m shedding tears.

“Maybe you can have both,” she offers up, even if she knows that’s naive, and I smile, even if I know it doesn’t reach my eyes.

What a nice dream that would be.

Chapter thirty-five

Rhett

Idon’t know why I agreed to build a pergola in the middle of July, but I try to focus on my girl next me as I cool down inside her blacked out SUV, the AC blowing straight onto my overheated chest.

We’re breaking our rule—no seeing each other during the work week—but I was beginning to wonder why the hell we made that rule in the first place.

“You know, Desi said the girls haven't stopped talking about the rainbow cake y’all made last weekend. They want one for their birthday, apparently.”

Audrey laughs to herself. “I’d love to make them one, when is their birthday?”

“Not for another ten months,” I reply, driving my point home that Audrey has quickly become a star in my family.

She smiles sweetly, but I can tell she is distracted by something. Worry comes in the form of a sudden headache, something I'm not used to. That is…not used to caring if I fucked up with a girl. In the past I’d count my losses and cut ties, but now all I want to do is fix what’s wrong, without pushing her further away.

The car idles on the street outside the house I’m working on. The rolling roads of Forest Hills are lined with lush trees and sprawling lawns; the kind that look almost too perfect, like the grass has been spray painted deep green. I prefer a more natural landscape, but Audrey fits right in today. Her hair is sleekly pulled back, and she’s wearing a navy skirt with an cream top; jarringly different from the casual, carefree look she has on weekends with me. She’s impossibly elegant, polished, and at home here, as if she could effortlessly occupy any one of these houses.

I’ve never given much thought to the neighborhood she grew up in, because she hasn’t opened up about her past much, but I reckon it was probably similar to this one. I know she’ll share in her own time when she’s ready. I’m not planning on going anywhere.

“There’s a park down the street we could eat at, or I’m happy to sit right here with you,” I offer, finally cooled down, hoping I can get some clarity on her aloof behavior.

I bought us lunch and she picked it up from a bistro down the street, but we still sat in the idling car with the bag of food resting in between us.

Both her hands stay clutching the steering wheel as she slowly turns away from me.

“I… uhm…I want to show you something if that’s okay.”

“Sure.” The headache pounds away.

She pulls away from the house, but we don’t leave the neighborhood. Instead, we drive deeper in, winding down a road where the properties are somehow even more massive.

Audrey doesn’t speak as we drive slowly, and neither do I. But it’s not a comfortable silence either, like it usually is when I'm driving her around in my truck. There’s tension in the air as she slows down at the end of the cul-de-sac, pulling up to a gated driveway of an expansive Tudor style home with a manicured lawn. A ‘For Sale’ sign is perched just outside the gate, and I watch with bated breath as she types in a code, the gate opening before us. We pull forward slowly.

“What are we doing here?” I ask as she shifts the car into park, unbuckles her seatbelt and leans back, resting her head against the leather headrest, still not making eye contact with me.

“It’s a nice house, yeah?” she all but mumbles, and it takes a minute to register she is actually talking to me.

I dip my head to peer out the window at the house stretched before us. It stands tall and studious, its gray stone covered in ivy. It reminds me of a fortress.

“Yeah, it’s nice,” I say, but it comes out like more of a question. “Are you thinking about buying it?” I tease, studying Audrey, but she is unmoving.

“No.” She rubs her palms on her legs, turning to me. “I’m selling it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Will you come inside with me?” she asks without further explanation, and I step out of the car with her. We approach the enormous mahogany front door, and she pulls out a key, pushing it open. Her shoulders sag, and I’m jittery in my work boots entering the dark foyer behind her. She moves to flip on a light, and I peer up at the massive chandelier twenty feet above us.