Page 11 of Unravel Me

“Yes, yes, of course. Where are you going?” His green eyes meet mine, no evidence of sadness in them.

“Does it matter?” I sigh, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I’d never tell him it was Penny’s. I know he was never overly fond of her, and he doesn’t need more ammunition to aim at me. “I’m out of here, that’s what you wanted, did you not?” I start to turn, taking one step away from him.

“Drey, please…” His fingers feather across my shoulder and tears rush to my eyes at his touch.

“What?” I snap, clenching my jaw so tight, I wonder if I cracked my teeth.

He furrows his brow, but we hold each other's gaze. A small, nearly inaudible sigh leaves him as he slips his hands into his pockets.

“For what it’s worth, I am sorry. I didn’t plan it this way…I take full responsibility.”

A million thoughts race through my mind, but none make it past my lips. Nothing suffices, nothing would get through to him. It would be wasted energy, of which I already am low on.

When I don’t respond, he steps back, grabs his suitcase, and rolls it into the bedroom. I wait until the bedroom door clicks shut behind him before I back up to sit at the island, staring into space, praying for a numbness to come over me. I wait, and wait, and wait.

From behind the bedroom door there’s faint rustling, drawers opening and closing. He’s been in there for a while. Maybe he’s texting Kelsey, giving her a play by play of his pathetic ex-fiancé.

Ten minutes later, the heavy wooden bedroom door swings open slowly. Jackson steps out with two large bags at his side; the expensive luggage we used for our European trips. He hasn’t changed clothes, probably desperate to get out of here as quickly as he can. He pauses in the doorway, glancing up at me. I had pictured this moment, anticipated it all week. I don’t know exactly what I thought would happen, but I never thought it would be like this.

I never thought he’d be so cold or that I’d be counting down the minutes until the door shut behind him, getting him out of my sight.

It’s not so hard to let someone go when you realize they were only ever a projection of who you wanted them to be.

“I’m staying with my parents until you’re out of here. Please let me know if you need movers, I can make arrangements with the same company that moved us in.”

I shake my head, holding back a humorless laugh. “That won’t be necessary.”

“If you change your mind, let me know,” he replies, almost gallantly. Pinching my lips together, I peel my gaze from him and he sighs. “Goodbye, Audrey.”

“Bye,” I replied on autopilot.

I let him walk out of the apartment without so much as a scolding.

That night, while I lay awake in bed, the empty spot next to me becoming familiar, I decided to do something. Pushing back the covers, I pad to the dining room where my work laptop remains. The apartment is still, the lights dim other than the light over the stovetop casting a warm glow. Tucking one leg under me, I sit at the dining chair and open my browser.

Before I can second guess myself, I type out an email which has the power to change everything for me.

Ed,

Thank you for considering me for the senior level opportunity at headquarters. I’ve thought about it carefully this week and am happy to say I would love to accept the position.

Best,

Audrey

The clock reads 2 a.m., so I close the laptop, sitting a moment in silence as the decision weighs on me. Going to sleep alone without a ring on my finger isn’t what’s led me to writing the email. I’m not sad Jackson’s gone.

I’m sad I’ve wasted time living out his plan.

Maybe it was time I tried to figure out what my plan was.

It was only June, so I had four months to prepare for the move to New York. Ed said initially the paperwork and details wouldn’t even be ready until August; it wouldn’t be set in stone for a while. But that was good, it gave me time to figure out how to break it to Penny that I was leaving. And to tell my parents I was coming back up north.

There was nothing left for me in this city, and I knew I needed to find myself or whatever it is you do after your world turns upside down.

How would I ever move on if I was constantly being suffocated by the ghost of my past?

Chapter eight