Page 68 of Zero Confusion

And he would.

Zach may have left him behind with that misplaced self-sacrifice, but as much as Miles hated it, he also understood it. Zach needed safety. He needed to put himself first. Miles didn’t have the same history or the same need for self-preservation. Even if it changed nothing—if Zach never knew about it—Miles would never leave him behind. Would never deny him.

He would love Zach forever, and that love wasn’t conditional on Zach loving him back.

He inhaled deeply, a surge of bravery filling him as he looked straight into his mother’s eyes.

“I knew. Of course I knew.”

“And you visited him anyway?” She blinked in confusion, struggling to wrap her head around his admission. “You weren’t worried?”

“Worried?” He scratched his chin, pretending to think. “Yeah, I was worried. Worried about my best friend dealing with assholes who don’t get it.”

“Language!”

His dad slammed a fist on the table, but Miles ignored him.

“Worried about the nicest, kindest person I know being rejected by his family for who he is.” Miles stood from his seat, pushing the chair back with a scraping sound. “Worried about the man I love disappearing from my life because he didn’t feel like he belonged. And, hey, look at that!” He spread his arms with a mirthless chuckle. “That’s exactly what happened!”

Mara smirked at him with satisfaction, but his focus was on his parents. Anthony glared at him with a cold expression, while his mom’s eyes grew in shock.

“Miles, sweetie, what are you saying?” she asked cautiously, enunciating each word.

“You better watch yourself.” His dad pushed to his feet, slow and deliberate, until he towered over the table. His face burned red, twisted with rage, and bits of spittle settled in the corner of his mouth as he jabbed a calloused finger at Miles. A numb haze enveloped Miles as he studied his father’s expression. For all of Anthony Carter’s gruffness, he didn’t get angry often. Not like this. The threat of his temper had always been enough to keep his children in line, but now that it was turned on him, Miles couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Compared to the pain of losing Zach, this barely registered.

Miles rolled his lips and weighed his next words. He was about to lose his family—like Zach had—but there wasn’t a shred of regret in his heart.

He was all in.

“I think you know exactly what I’m saying. But if I have to spell it out…” Miles folded his arms in front of his chest. “I’m bisexual. Or pansexual. I’m not sure yet. The point is, I’m in love with Zach. And before you start, no, I’m not confused, and no, it’s not a phase. You can kick me out, stop paying for college, threaten to disown me, but none of that’s gonna change a damn thing. I will always love him.”

His father’s jaw was clenched, every breath tight with fury, while his mother’s lips trembled, eyes glassy with unshed tears. Miles hesitated, caught between wanting to storm off and needing to stand his ground.

“Umm. Fuck it.” Max’s voice pulled everyone’s attention toward him. “I’m gay.”

An unbidden smile spread across Miles’s face, the significance of Max’s declaration slamming straight into his chest and coating him in soft warmth. He hadn’t realized how badly he wanted—needed—his brother on his side.

“Sorry I can’t stand up and face off with y’all, but, y’know, broken leg. Uhh, but yeah, Ray and I have been together for almost three years now.”

His dad didn’t explode the way Miles expected. His features shifted from anger to something sharper, more dangerous.

“You think this is a joke?” he said, voice rough with barely contained rage. “Both of you? In my house?” The words hung heavy in the air as his glare snapped between Miles and Max.

Across the table, his mom’s gaze flickered between them, scanning each son as if piecing together an intricate puzzle.

The house felt different now—smaller, suffocating. The ticking of the clock on the wall grew louder, each second stretching too long. Outside, a bird screeched, filling the silence none of them knew how to break. Miles was aware of every single sound in the room—the faint creak of Max shifting his cane, the soft sniffling noises from his mom, his father’s fast, uneven breathing.

It felt like they were going to live in this moment forever.

“That’s cool. I’ve always wanted two gay brothers.” Mara popped a piece of bread into her mouth and nodded thoughtfully, as if she were an equal part of the conversation. Had she already known about Max, or was she truly taking everything in stride?

“Mara, you’re excused,” Anthony gritted out. “Micah and Misty, you too. Go to your rooms.” He waved his hand in dismissal.

Miles glanced at his youngest siblings. So quiet most of the time, it was easy to forget they were there. A twinge of regret slithered through him. He should have spent more time with them. Even if they preferred to keep to themselves, living in their own twin bubble, he should have tried harder. With him and Max kicked out of the family, only Mara would be there to help them navigate life on the farm.

On second thought, with her as their big sister, they didn’t have much to worry about.